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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923789">a family is a circle of love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sis_be_wilding/pseuds/sis'>sis (sis_be_wilding)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops &amp; Cafés, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Claire is a good older sister, Dean Winchester Has Anger Issues, Dean Winchester Has Panic Attacks, Dean Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Fatherly!Dean, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gabriel is a good uncle, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jack is a wholesome baby, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Pansexual Castiel (Supernatural), Past Child Abuse, Pining, Romantic Fluff, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, crowley is a douchebag, dad!Cas, gabriel has a candy store, is this enough tags, kid!Claire, kid!jack, no beta we die like men, slow burn? kind of?, you know what everyone needs a hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:22:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,189</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923789</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sis_be_wilding/pseuds/sis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't say something you might regret."</p><p>Castiel Novak is a single father with two children struggling to make ends meet after his ex-wife takes off and refuses to pay Child Support. </p><p>After being losing his job and being evicted from his home, Cas's older brother Gabriel offers to let them live with him. There, Cas meets Gabriels' infamous coffee wizard (and part-time drunk), Dean Winchester. </p><p>His world gets turned upside-down in a swirl of hazelnut lattes, sickly-sweet lollipops and maybe-kind-of-dates.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Gabriel (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. hey dorothea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>please tell me if this fic is in any way, shape or form offensive. i am a young writer and constructive criticism/suggestions are welcome! i hope you enjoy this story :))))</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Sometimes, Cas liked to stare out of his small window and pretend there was a garden on the bare balcony.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not just a few potted plants scattered across the peeling railing, like many of the other residents in their dinky apartment had in an attempt to spruce up their home. He wished there were vines and ivy climbing up the walls, flowers bursting with pollen growing from every square inch, and yeah, maybe one or two potted plants, but not the half-dead, Home Depot kind - the beautiful, exotic, palm-tree-like kind. Maybe a nice cobblestone fountain right in the middle, for the kids to splash around in. Yeah, that would be nice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas smiled at the thought. It was a rare sight to see. He didn’t have much to smile about those days. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wondered if Daphne would like it if they had a garden. Surely she would, right? But, then again, she would have only cared if the fountain sprayed alcohol. If the fountain had alcohol, he would never let Jack and Claire play in it. Maybe he could build a separate fountain for Daphne.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daaaaaad!” Jack screamed from his room. Cas sighed, looking away from the imaginary garden. He was getting ahead of himself, again. He hated it when he slipped into that fantasy world, because he knew it would never exist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Jack?” he said exhaustedly. He had barely gotten any sleep the previous night, having stayed up late to sort out their budget for the upcoming month.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My shoes have holes in them!” Jack moaned, emerging from his room with a pout on his face. He looked just like his mother - wispy brown-ish hair and blue eyes. “I can’t go to school with holey shoes!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas rubbed his temples. It was too early in the morning for this. There was no way he could get Jack a new pair of shoes in the amount of time he had before school. Besides, it wasn’t like he could afford it. Money was tight, and looking at their finances last night made him more insecure about purchasing things.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid I can’t get you new shoes right now, Jack,” he said, kneeling down to look his son in the eyes. “You will just have to go to school with holey shoes today. But I promise I will buy you new ones later, okay?” An empty promise, he knew, but he never defined when “later” would be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jack’s face practically glowed at the proposition of new shoes, even if he wasn’t getting them right away. “Okay, Daddy!” he squealed, flinging his arms around his father’s neck. Cas smiled and kissed his son’s forehead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you go check on Claire and make sure she’s ready for school, too?” he said, jerking his chin towards Claire’s room. Jack nodded and scurried off to bother his big sister.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas stood up again, carding a hand through his hair. He caught a glimpse of himself in the cracked mirror glued to the fridge and leaned closer to take a look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His deep blue eyes were bloodshot, dragged down by heavy black bags.  His skin was oily and saggy and as he counted his forehead wrinkles, he noticed that there were two more than the last time he checked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, I’m getting old,” he huffed unhappily, backing away from the mirror. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few minutes passed as he waited for Jack and Claire to emerge. He nursed a lukewarm cup of coffee in a pathetic attempt to warm his hands, since they couldn’t pay for a heater. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dad! I got Claire up!” Jack yelled proudly, sliding into the tiny kitchen with a toothy grin on his face. Claire followed behind him, her curly blonde hair framing her raccoon eyes. Cas frowned at that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you sleep well last night, Claire?” he asked, placing a hand on her shoulder in concern. She shook it off with a tired expression that rivaled his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not really. It was freezing.” she muttered. Cas wanted to sigh but refrained. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I apologize, Claire. You can borrow my fleece blanket tonight.” Claire’s face lights up a little at that. Cas offered her a half-grin, not looking forward to the chilly, blanket-less night. “Okay, guys, put on your coats and boots, it’s time to go now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they exited the house, their neighbor Meg was leaning on the wall outside her apartment, smoking a cigarette. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Clarence and family,” she said in her deep, seductive voice, putting out her cigar when she saw the kids. “How are you guys doing? Haven’t seen you around in a while.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Since they lived in Mayfeld, a stereotypically “dangerous” neighborhood, most of their neighbors were ex-cons that hijacked cars as a hobby. He had met several of them, and they were nowhere near the “kind” or “compassionate” neighbors that had been described on the apartment pamphlet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>However, Meg was an exception. She had been arrested for breaking and entering a few years ago and had lost her job around the same time Cas had moved in. She had greeted them with a cheese casserole on their first day there, and since then, they had become pretty good friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re good, thanks,” Cas said hurriedly, checking his watch again. “I still don’t understand your obsession with calling me ‘Clarence’, though. Anyways, what about you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meg threw her head back and laughed, purple-black curls bouncing over her shoulders. “Ah, Ruby, that bi-” She paused, her eyes raking over the kids, “That, er, </span>
  <em>
    <span>chick</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she’s back at it again. Callin’ me, wanting me back, the whole shebang.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas sighed and shook his head. “Did you tell her to stop?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meg’s fingers itched for her pocket, eager to smoke another cigarette. “Yeah. Don’t think she will, though.” She noticed Cas looking at his watch again. “You guys going somewhere?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“School!” Jack chirped happily. Meg grinned at him, her teeth surprisingly clean for a chainsmoker.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you guys better get going, then. See ya.” she said, waving a hand at them and sauntering back into her apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See ya!” Jack hollered as she slammed the door behind her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bye Claire! Bye Jack!” Cas called from his beat-up Prius. Claire scrunched up her face and quickly waved before joining her group of friends. She was at that age where it wasn't “cool” to be driven to school by a parent. He rolled his eyes at her, suppressing a hefty sigh. At least he had some more time with Jack.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as both kids were out of sight, he drove out of the comfortable neighborhood that wrapped around the school and headed into the city.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He worked at an old clinic in the heart of San Francisco as a receptionist. He used to be a doctor there, but lost his medical license a few years ago for what they called “gross negligence”, but Cas called “using different methods to get the same result”. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he had to pinpoint a moment where everything started going downhill, that would be it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He got there at nine o’clock sharp, as usual. Cas prided himself on his punctuality, even if nobody else cared about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah! Castiel! Good to see you’re here early, m’boy!” said a familiar, accented voice. A large hand clapped Cas on the shoulder and he turned around to see his short, pudgy supervisor, Crowley. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you take a seat? I need to talk to you.” Crowley said with a crocodile smile that made Cas nervous.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shrugged off his trench coat and took a seat in the spindly chair at the receptionist’s desk. Crowley plopped down on the worn velvet lounge couch and knotted his fingers together, a concerned look settling on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hate to be the one to tell you this, Castiel.” Crowley sighed, leaning back on the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tell me… what?” Cas asked suspiciously. “Did you purchase a large sum of marijuana?” He severely doubted Crowley would buy weed, but he wouldn’t put it past him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Me? Never!” Crowley barked, “Oh, Cas, you beagle. But, ah- that’s not what I came to talk about.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas swallowed harshly. “Well, what is it, then?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crowley sighed and fixed him with a sympathetic stare. “We’re firing you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Time seemed to stop for a second, the silence stretching thin between them. Cas gaped with his mouth open like a fish out of water, trying to comprehend what Crowley just said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- What?” he managed to say. “But- but I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will not deny that you are a wonderful receptionist. But, I’m running short on money and we have more people than we need working here.” Crowley said, kicking his feet up on the couch.. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I need to support my children.” Cas said with a slight growl, his eyebrows pressing together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I </span>
  <em>
    <span>understand</span>
  </em>
  <span> that, Castiel, but you must understand that I am cutting corners that I don’t wish to cut,” Crowley bit back. “If the health inspector came by here on any given day, we would all lose our jobs.” He made a sweeping gesture to the lobby, in all its peeled-paint, Febreze-smelling glory.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are firing me because you want to save money?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, not exactly, I suppose. I’m doing this for the greater good of the clinic.” Crowley exhales, “Besides, you’re barely working four hours a day, Castiel!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing my best. I don’t have the money to pay for aftercare, and even if I did, they don’t offer it at the school they go to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, you should have gotten a neighbor to take care of them, then!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think<em> you </em></span>
  <span>understand</span>
  <span>, Crowley,” Cas hissed, shooting out of his chair, “We live in Mayfeld, the, ah, </span>
  <em>
    <span>dangerous</span>
  </em>
  <span> neighborhood of San Francisco, because I can’t afford to pay for a nice apartment on Mason Street or wherever the hell you live. All my neighbors have been to </span>
  <em>
    <span>jail</span>
  </em>
  <span>. However reformed they might be-” his mind flicked to Meg. “-I would not trust my children with them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well, boohoo for you!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You- you- you </span>
  <em>
    <span>assbutt</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You and your stupid stinginess is the reason I’m in this predicament!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Assbutt</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Is that the best you can do, giraffe?” Crowley sneered. “Take your dirty trench coat and get the hell out of here. I don’t ever want to see your stupid face again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas didn’t cry on the drive home. He was too numb to feel anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he got home to their ratty apartment, he noticed a paper clinging to the door by a piece of tape. He immediately thought of the worst and felt his stomach swirl with worry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tore the paper off the door and scanned over the tiny, fine-print words until he reached the bottom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is an official eviction notice</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eviction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just the shape of the word, the drop in the v, filled him with dread.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He crumpled helplessly onto the stained floor, his trench coat pooling on the ground around him. How could they evict him? He had paid the rent and all the bills. Or so he thought, as his mind flashed to the red “Overdue” stamped on several forms he had thrown away over the months, along with crumpled math homeworks and finished crossword puzzles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How could he forget? It must’ve been the stress, between Claire and Jack and Daphne and work and exhaustion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas had no other choice now. The paper said that they had three days. There was no way he could reason with their landlord to let them stay or even for more time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wiped his dry eyes, pulled out his phone, and swiped through his contacts until he reached </span>
  <em>
    <span>Daphne</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was hesitant to call her. She was probably busy with her new husband in Hawaii or Italy or wherever that rich asshole swept her off to. But, he needed the money. And Daphne hadn’t paid child support in almost three months now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The phone rang, and Cas’s heart nearly imploded with anxiety when she picked up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What,” Daphne drawled, annoyance decorating the edges of her voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You need to stop drinking and pay child support,” Cas snapped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Cas, you know I can’t afford that,” she chuckled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because your husband has been spending all his money on expensive vacations and jewelry for you?” he </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmm, yes, exactly.” Daphne mused. “The ring he got me is just splendid, don’t you agree? I’ll send you a photo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn it, Daphne, do you care nothing for your children? You can't simply pay fifty dollars once a year and feel good for being an ‘involved’ parent!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Castiel, I do indeed love them,” she said with such sincerity that Cas figured she must be lying, “I just don’t have the capacity to care for them right now. Can’t you see that I’m enjoying myself for once?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span><em>Oh, brother</em>, Cas thought, H<em>ere comes the bitch session.</em></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, you never once made me happy. Alastair here- he’s made me happy in ways you could never compete with. You’re a sad, pathetic loser, Castiel, and I hate you. I have depression, you know! Alastair-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Depression is not the same thing as being sad from time to time. I see calling you was a mistake.” he said, abruptly ending the call before Daphne could pin her so-called depression on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas rubbed the bridge of his nose. Her words didn’t faze him - he must have heard them hundreds of times before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So now, he had no money, no home and no job. What the hell was he going to do?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did the only thing he knew how to do for sure - he prayed. He prayed that his children wouldn’t starve or freeze. He prayed that he would be able to find work again. He prayed for everything to be alright.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And, as if God himself had heard his prayers, his phone buzzed with a caller again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only, this time, it was Gabriel. Gabriel, his older brother who struck gold in Santa Monica with his candy store. Maybe Gabriel could lend him some money, or refer him to someone for a job.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He picked up and lifted the phone to his ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cassie!” Gabriel sang through the phone. “Hey, baby bro, how’re the kids? It’s getting loooooonely around here, you know, with me being unmarried and all. Can you bring them around on the weekend or something?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas shook his head and smiled a little. It was always good to hear his obnoxious older brother’s voice, even if he was talking a million miles a minute so his speech was barely comprehensible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Gabriel. I’m afraid I have a bit of a situation right now.” Cas said, clenching his teeth. “I lost my job today. And… I’ve been evicted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel was rendered silent, which, normally, was basically impossible. When he spoke again, he sounded like he aged a hundred years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn, Cas, that sucks. I’m sorry, dude.” he muttered, his voice quiet for once. It’s the first time Cas realizes that it’s actually pretty deep and scratchy - probably from all the yelling he does on a daily basis.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it really does. I will have to spend the weekend looking for a job, so I can’t bring Claire and Jack for a visit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you call Daphne already? The child support money-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She won’t pay it. I don’t have the money to afford a lawyer, so I can’t sue her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence again. Now, the long stretches of them were starting to make Cas uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>"I, uh. Don't really know what to do, Gabriel." Cas confessed. He felt all his walls crumbled down as tears sprung to his eyes, threatening to fall. "To be completely honest, I am scared. That I won't find work, or a home. What'll happen then? I can't take care of them if I don't have a home. I'd be a- a horrible father." His voice cracked with the thought of Claire and Jack, shivering against the cold winter wind without coats or shelter.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's not going to happen and you know it," Gabriel pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It <em>could</em>, Gabriel, and that's what I'm scared of!" Cas's voice wavered dangerously. He sniffled a little and mopped his eyes with the sleeve of his trench coat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You know, uh, you could always, like, live with me? I have a big-ass apartment and no one to share it with. I wouldn’t mind having you guys around for a while.” Gabriel finally said. He sounded both hopeful and nervous.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas’s heart practically stopped. Another tear slipped down his cheek, but he didn't bother to dry it. “You- you would do that? For me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course! Anything for you, little bro. We’d have to sort it all out and junk, get some movers- but I’d be cool with it. Like I said, it gets lonely around here. Could use some rugrats running around.” he said with a cheerful lilt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas basically fell apart again, but managed to keep it together long enough to thank Gabriel profusely. “You must be a saint, Gabriel. Thank you so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it, kid. Besides, after this, I’ll be Claire and Jack’s favorite uncles! Not like they have much competition,” he muttered the last part under his breath, but Cas could still hear it and stifled a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Gabriel. I will see you this weekend.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope you enjoyed! i'll try to upload every friday. i am a student, however, and have lots of homework, so no promises.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. do you ever stop and think about me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aliefkajfklajdl im so sorry for taking so long on this chapter! i had absolutely no motivation to write at all for the past week and finished this chapter in a coffee-induced trance. i apologize if it's bad and i'll try to get on a regular upload schedule this week, but no promises. </p><p>ALSO, trigger warning ahead for drinking/alcohol/drunkenness. not sure if people get triggered by that sort of thing, but the warning is there.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for the Novaks to move out. It was quick and easy, since they barely owned anything other than a few pieces of clothing and a worn floral couch, which Gabriel insisted on donating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cas, you’re not bringing that trash into my apartment! It’s disgusting!” he lamented when he saw the movers drag it into the back of their truck. “Put it on eBay. Some old lady will be drooling all over it, I guarantee you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the couch business had been sorted out (Cas had ended up auctioning it off to a sweet old lady named Marjorie) and everything else had been packed up, Gabriel decided to bring the kids to his apartment building.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the first time they had seen it - the few times they had visited Gabriel, they had only ventured throughout his elaborate candy store. Claire and Jack were mesmerized by the diamond chandelier while Cas took in the posh and, in his opinion, overly-decorated lobby.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>live</span>
  </em>
  <span> here, Uncle Gabe?” Claire whispered, gingerly touching a glass lamp. Gabe had laughed and ruffled her bird’s nest of hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure bet I do, Clairey Bear,” he chortled, “And this is just the lobby! Wait ‘til you see my little section of heaven!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel lived on the eleventh floor of the building, which was also the top floor. “I got the best view in the entire city from up there,” he said enthusiastically as he unlocked his door and ushered them inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His apartment was ginormous. There were four bedrooms, two bathrooms with Jacuzzis, an enormous living room and a sparkling kitchen with a checkered linoleum floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you like it, kiddos?” he said, smiling down at the excited children.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Awesome!” Jack squeed, sliding down the smooth tile floor. “Can I pleeeeeeease have this room, Uncle Gabe?” He pointed to an empty cream-colored room with pastel checkered curtains.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Jack-Jack,” Gabriel said, winking at his nephew, “and we can paint it whatever color you want!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dinosaurs!” Jack exclaimed, practically vibrating on the spot. Gabriel barked a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s my boy!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas laid in his enormous room, taking in the events of the day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bed was extremely soft, a little too much for his liking. He preferred a sturdy mattress instead of one as fluffy as a marshmallow. But he dealt with it, because it was Gabriel’s home he was living in now, and he didn’t get a say in what kind of mattresses he got to sleep on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He started having second thoughts about moving in with Gabriel. It was pathetic, living with your own brother, especially when you had children. How could he take care of Claire and Jack if he could barely take care of himself?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was stupid, really. Cas didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> Gabriel’s help, not at all. This was a temporary living situation, not a permanent one. He promised himself that he’d start looking for a job tomorrow, and look for a home next week. It wouldn’t be too hard. He lived in Santa Monica, for crying out loud, the land of Way Too Many Beach Themed Restaurants. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, as he learned the very next day, finding work would not be as easy as he thought. Work was sparse, with pimply teenagers working to get money for expensive colleges clogging up all the potential job interviews. At the end of the week, he hadn’t found a single hiring restaurant in town.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He came home that night to find Gabriel making pizza with the kids. A line of cooked pizzas sat on the counter. Jack dumped an entire bag of cheese onto his saucy dough with a big grin while Claire placed green peppers on hers. Gabriel pressed his cell phone to his ear while he shifted misshapen pizzas in and out of the oven.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, kids. Hello, Gabriel.” he said wearily, shrugging off his worn blazer and tossing it onto the coat rack.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daddy!” Jack exclaimed, pizza forgotten. He dashed over and smothered Cas in a hug. Cas smiled and hugged Jack back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Cassie,” Gabriel said hurriedly, “Listen, can you pop these last two pizzas in the oven? I just got a call from one of my baristas saying that the coffee machine just fritzed out, so I gotta go down there and take a look at it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sell coffee at a candy store?” Cas asked, raising an eyebrow as he placed Jack’s cheesy pizza next to the oven. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, for the adults,” Gabriel said, throwing on his puffy black coat. He started out the door, grabbing his keys and slipping off his sauce-stained red and white apron. “I’ll be back in a bit, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, bye, Gabriel!” Cas called as the door slammed shut. He sighed and threw the pizzas in the oven.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is Daddy okay?” Jack asked worriedly, wrapping his arms around his father. Cas smiled weakly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay, Jack. I didn’t have a good day, that’s all.” he said, pressing a kiss to Jack’s forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you couldn’t find a job?” Claire piped up in a matter-of-factly sort of way. Cas froze, wondering how on Earth Claire could have figured that out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… yes, I suppose,” he said, faltering for a moment. “I, uh-” The oven dinged at just the right moment, signaling that the pizzas were done. He quickly stood up, snapped on oven mitts, and took the smoking pizzas out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys can eat. Daddy needs to lay down for a moment,” he mumbled to nobody in particular, and made his way into his bedroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He flopped down onto the bed made for two and tossed the sheets over himself. He wanted to go to sleep, or maybe drown. Both would bring him peace, wouldn’t they? But he couldn’t leave Jack and Claire all alone in the world, because obviously Daphne wouldn’t be the responsible adult and take custody of them. No, she’d rather see them rot in an orphanage while she fucked off to God-knows-where in Italy or Brazil or wherever her new husband decided to take her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> Cas dragged the smooth linen bedding up to his waist. It was stupid, thinking about such things. He would never abandon his children for his own selfish needs. But maybe he deserved a nap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas had just started to drift off when the doorbell rang. He groaned and stood up tiredly, as if he had just woken up from a good night’s sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard thudding from down the hall - probably Jack rushing to open the door. He then remembered that the ringer was most likely a stranger, and Jack hadn’t yet understood the concept of “Stranger Danger”.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This realization propelled him out of bed and out of his room. He collided with Jack and wrapped his arms around him to keep him from running any further.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But, Daddy!” Jack whined, kicking his legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me open the door, Jack, okay?” he said calmly, “It could be a stranger, and strangers are dangerous, remember?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not all of them,” Jack mumbled, but stopped fighting. Cas sighed and rubbed his temples for what felt like the thousandth time that day. He approached the door and opened it, raking a hand through his hair as he did so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Gabriel isn’t home right-” he stopped himself as his eyes settled on the stranger at the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was one of the most gorgeous men Cas had ever had the privilege to lay eyes on. The stranger had an attractive jawline, cropped light brown hair, full lips, long eyelashes and green eyes that Cas could just swim in all day long. However, his features drooped slightly and his eyes were bloodshot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, uh- sorry, I-'' the man slurred, lumbering past Cas and into the house. Cas was shocked and instantly shot out an arm to try and stop him from going any further, but the man just brushed it aside and giggled. “I’m- hehe, I’m drrrrunk.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nearly tripped on Jack, who sat pouting on the floor. “O-oh, sorry kiddo. Di-didn’t see you there, heh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me, sir,” Cas growled, “This is not your house. Get out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wellll, ex</span>
  <em>
    <span>cuse</span>
  </em>
  <span> me, sir,” the green-eyed stranger hiccuped, “This isn’t your house either. S-so maybe </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> should get out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas balled and un-balled his fists. This guy was getting on his nerves. “Claire, Jack, go into your bedrooms right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kids didn’t hesitate to run into their respective rooms and lock the doors behind them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is your relation to Gabriel?” Cas questioned the man, slowly backing into the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Gabe, he’s- he’s my, uh-” the guy burped loudly. “He’s my boss. Hey, you got any beer?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You work for Gabriel? In Sweet Dreams?” Cas asked, grabbing a kitchen knife from the stand behind his back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been a rough week for meeee,” the stranger groaned, avoiding Cas’s question and instead flopping onto the couch. “I-I’m Dean, by the way. Y’know, you’re reeeeally pretty. Like, super pretty. I like your hairrrrr.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re saying things you might regret.” Cas said, holding the kitchen knife in front of him while he approached the couch gingerly. “Now, tell me-” he stopped when he heard loud snoring. Cas peered over the couch and saw that the stranger, Dean, had fallen asleep. He shook his head in annoyance, put the kitchen knife down, and dialed Gabriel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gabriel? We seem to have a bit of a problem.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>there you go, another chapter. i know it's bad but i promise i'll try harder this week. have a great day!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. when we were younger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello there it'sa me again :)))) i also have a tumblr if you want to go follow it. i'm snert-stuff (don't question the name).</p><p>anyways please enjoy this (actually on-time) chapter! </p><p>if you didn't know i named the chapter titles after lyrics from Dorothea by Taylor Swift because Taylor Swift is a heller and you cannot tell me otherwise</p><p>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/snert-stuff</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Gabriel groaned in annoyance when he saw Dean passed out on the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Man, I told him not to…” he grumbled as he shifted Dean’s legs so he was laying flat on the couch and threw a blanket over him. “Dumbass. Are you okay? Are the kids okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we’re fine. I didn’t know you were hiring drunks, Gabriel.” Cas said coldly, his arms crossed tightly as he fixed Gabriel with a piercing glare. Gabriel simply sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He wasn’t always a drunk, you know. Poor guy’s just had a hard life.” he said with an exhausted face that rivalled Cas’s. “C’mon, little bro, don’t look at me like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did he come here tonight?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I sometimes let him crash here after a bad night. But I swear, I told him that he can’t do this anymore-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you get it, Gabriel? He could have seriously hurt us-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trust me on this one, Cas, Dean wouldn’t hurt a fly.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s bullshit,” Cas hissed, and Gabriel knew it was serious because Cas never cursed if he could help it. “I don’t know what would have happened if I had let Jack open the door for him and frankly, I don’t want to!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t- Damn it, Cas, let’s just sleep on it, okay? I wouldn’t want to wake the kids.” Gabriel huffed with a tinge of anger. Cas took a deep breath and lowered his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t know that Dean would just show up like this. It’s unlike him, y’know- he usually calls ahead or lets me know. Must’ve been one hell of a bad night.” Gabriel said, and for the first time Cas could sense a note of sincerity in his voice, something he hadn’t ever heard before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I forgive you, Gabriel. Just- you know. Make sure he doesn’t do it again.” he said shortly, and trudged into his room, closing the door softly behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean woke up to a mouth-watering aroma filling his nose and a splitting headache. He groaned and rolled off of the couch, hitting the floor with a thud, which only made his head hurt more. He let out a pained grunt and grabbed the corner of the glass coffee table to lift himself up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After blinking a few times, he recognized the home he was in as Gabriel’s, and let out a sigh of relief. Thank God he had got it through his drunken mind to go here instead of- well, wherever he might’ve ended up. Maybe he would’ve hightailed it to Colorado or woken up in bed with someone he didn’t know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey- uh, hello?” he said, his voice coming out softer than usual. “Hello?” He tried to stand up in hopes that it would help with his headache.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, buddy,” Gabriel’s sing-songy voice came from the kitchen, “You hungry?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need coffee, like, right now,” Dean moaned. Turned out that standing up just made his head pound harder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One black coffee, coming right up,” Gabriel hummed, flipping a pancake on the stove. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean sat down at the dining table as the memories of last night flooded into his mind. He vaguely remembered an attractive man with a knife, a tiny kid, a flash of fear, and blue eyes the color of the sea. Eyes he could just drown in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, man,” he grumbled as he remembered why the attractive man had a knife. “Oh, man.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s up, dude?” Gabriel asked, setting down a piping hot cup of coffee in front of him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude, I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry about last night. I just-” he was cut off by Gabriel holding a hand up at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No sweat, dude. It’s not me you need to apologize to. I mean, you scared the living shit out of my brother, Castiel, so you might want to apologize to him.” he said, flipping a pancake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your- your brother? Were those his kids?” Dean asked, trying to wrap his head around the previous night’s events.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yep, and you spooked all of ‘em pretty bad. Here, eat up.” Gabriel said, nodding to a plate of pancakes that had just appeared in front of Dean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, man, this is delicious.” Dean said, stuffing his face with the buttery cakes. “I just- I had such a bad night, dude.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wanna talk about it?” Gabriel inquired. Dean hated seeing him like that- with his eyes full of sympathy that he didn’t need or deserve.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t really want to.” he said shortly, chomping on another pancake in order not to spill his guts to his boss. Gabriel let out a silent exhale from his nose, his version of a long-winded sigh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, buddy, just- take the day off, alright? You can hang around here until my brother gets home, and then you better apologize, or I’ll fire your ass.” Gabriel said after a little while. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seeya,” Dean muttered as Gabriel slammed the door shut.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel had neglected to tell him exactly what time Castiel would be back, and Dean didn’t want to bother his boss while he was at work, which meant he couldn’t leave because Cas could get home before he did, and that would be a whole world of awkwardness if that happened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he was overthinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean felt like a nickel in an overly large coffee can, rattling around the big, empty apartment with nothing to do. He decided to cure this boredom by exploring the apartment building (that way he wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>technically</span>
  </em>
  <span> leaving), but he quickly got disinterested after getting lost in the maze of identical hallways. The overuse of crystal chandeliers was getting on his nerves (and he was ninety percent sure that the crystals were fake).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After getting back to the apartment, Dean decided to just kick back and watch TV until Castiel got home. It felt weird, sitting on the enormous couch meant for eight people when he was all alone. He kept shifting seats to try and find a better view before giving up and settling on a F.R.I.E.N.D.S marathon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean had seen F.R.I.E.N.D.S hundreds of times before. He practically knew every episode by heart, since his little brother Sam had been hyper-fixated on it when it first came out, even though the humor was far above his understanding at the time. He treasured those memories of his little brother and his toothy grin, cackling at the flickering TV in their musty living room and shoving handfuls of popcorn into his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was broken out of his nostalgic trance by the sound of a door unlocking. Dean leapt off the couch and quickly sat down at the kitchen table, since it would be informal to apologize while sprawled out on your boss’s sofa.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A girl with bouncy blonde curls and a boy with swoopy brown hair strolled in first. Neither of them could be over the age of ten, and Dean felt his heart sink when they stared at him with fear flashing in their eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, Castiel walked in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean could barely breathe. He saw how beautiful this man was last night, but when he was sober? The guy looked like a goddamn model, all ocean-blue eyes and tousled black hair. He wore a disappointed frown on his face (how could a frown be so attractive?) and when he saw Dean, his frown turned into an furious scowl.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean gulped and fiddled with his thumbs. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Words, Dean. Form words.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, um-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How- the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span>- did you get in here,” Cas bit out. The kids took this as their signal to retreat into their rooms as Cas stormed across the room and slammed his hands on the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gabriel, he- he let me stay until you got back,” Dean stammered, placing his shaking hands in his lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did he let you stay until my return?” Cas growled. Dean blushed - his voice was deep and raw with anger. He wasn’t going to lie - it was kind of hot. But now he was pissed off by this guy, who obviously didn’t understand that Gabriel would’ve thrown him out last night if he didn’t want him to apologize.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to say sorry, alright?” Dean snapped. “I’m sorry for scaring you. I was drunk as a donkey’s left nut last night and I didn’t remember that Gabe said I couldn’t crash here. I’m very sorry, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The scowl slid off of Cas’s face as he cocked his head. “What does a donkey’s left nut have to do with being drunk?” He asked. And, fuck, he sounded genuinely curious about what an ass’s testicles had to do with being intoxicated. Dean almost scoffed at him, but he stopped himself before he could anger this guy any further.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s- it’s just a saying. Anyways, I’ll be going now.” Dean said quickly, flushing with red. Dammit, why did his face always have to do that? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I- I accept your apology, I suppose,” Cas replied skeptically, “You, uh- you work for Gabriel?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I do. I’m a barista.” Dean said, approaching the door. He couldn’t stop the next words from escaping his mouth: “You should come by sometime and watch me make coffee, hmm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to facepalm himself, but that would be weird, especially in front of the guy he just asked to “watch him make coffee”. Seriously, what kind of pick-up line was that? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas turned beet red, which only made Dean flush harder. “I- I don’t- I don’t completely forgive you, you know,” Cas rebutted, “You almost hurt my child.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I apologise for that.” Dean countered. “Okay, for real, I’m going to leave now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Bye, Dean,” Cas said as Dean opened the door and let himself out. He barely caught his next words- “I’ll see you around sometime.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That made Dean turn red like a tomato. Goddammit.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yeet skeet i'll see you next week (or maybe sooner if im in a writing mood who knows???)</p><p>also i apologise for the bad writing i'm really trying to get better i promise lmao</p><p>have a great day! :))</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. down in the park</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello readers! it is i, Sis, back with another chapter! sorry this one isn't great, it's a little rushed but I had to get it out today because i'm celebrating Lunar New Year with my family tomorrow. hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cas thought of Dean all throughout the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t mean to- in fact, he actively tried not to. But whenever he trusted his subconscious mind to drift off, it would decide to focus on Dean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was something about Dean that both intrigued and angered Cas. Maybe it was his forest-green eyes, or his gravelly voice that reminded him of driving on an unpaved road, or maybe it was the fact that he compared being drunk to a donkey’s left testicle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Or maybe it was the fact that he seemed like a kind man with good intentions, which Cas adamantly refused to believe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The never-ending barrage of thoughts about the green-eyed man made it incredibly hard for Cas to fall asleep, and by the time his mind finally moved away from Dean, the sun was shining golden-orange beams of light into his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>----------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was almost noon when Cas finally woke up, which confused him, since he hadn’t slept in that late since before he had kids. Usually, he was woken up early either by Jack hopping on his bed and begging him for breakfast or his alarm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank God it’s Saturday,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Cas thought as he glanced at his phone through sleepy eyes. He had several texts from Gabriel telling him that the kids wanted to go to his candy store, so he had taken them there to help him open up. That explained the lack of children jumping on his bed to wake him up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas decided that he needed coffee before he could go job-hunting again. What a way to spend the weekend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, unfortunately for him, Gabriel had used the last of the coffee grinds and filters for his coffee, leaving Cas without a way to make his morning jump-start. He groaned at the discovery and slammed the kitchen cabinet a little harder than he meant to, making a loud noise that echoed down the empty home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grumbling to himself, he threw on his trench coat and left the apartment, keys swinging on his finger. He was going to have to venture out into the world and find a Starbucks or something to get his fix.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How was it possible for a crowded block in Santa Monica not to have a single Starbucks? It was more than possible, as Cas found out when he couldn’t find one anywhere. He let out a puff of air in annoyance. He was already feeling lethargic - even though he had slept in until noon, he hadn’t fallen asleep until almost eight in the morning. Combined with only an hour of sleep from the previous night, he was feeling more exhausted than if he hadn’t slept at all. Maybe he could go just one day without coffee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Turned out that he couldn’t. Halfway through a job interview for a joint called Clam Shell Diner he had arranged the day before, he found himself slipping into a dream. The manager interviewing him gave him a concerned look and told him that he could leave early. Cas definitely wasn’t getting a job there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At this point, it was getting a little late for coffee. But Cas’s vision was blurring in and out and he could barely walk straight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <em>
    <span>“You should come by sometime and watch me make coffee, hmm?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course. Sweet Dreams. Gabriel’s candy store, with a coffee counter in it for the adults.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he knew it, he had stepped into Sweet Dreams, a heavenly aroma filling his nostrils and making him release a sigh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Normally, Sweet Dreams looked like a kid’s haven. There was a giant slow-spinning pinwheel that was supposed to look like a peppermint smack dab in the middle of the store, covered in fake snow that the children loved to toss in the air or roll in. It was an attempt to get the store decorated for Christmastime (even though it wasn’t for another month). However, in Cas’s sleep-deprived mind, it looked like something right out of a fever dream, the red and white mixing together until he couldn’t even tell if it was moving or not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The walls were lined with shelves of candies and chocolates in plastic boxes. Gloves and small plastic bags were provided to everyone who entered the store, so that they could grab the treats they wanted right off the wall and put it into their bags.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An employee scurried up to Cas and handed him a bag and gloves, but he shook him off. He located the coffee counter, a spruced-up bar with fancy coffee machines and a million different kinds of sauces lining the marble counter, and stumbled over to it. He took a seat on one of the tall chairs next to an equally exhausted parent, who didn’t even notice him. A barista was pouring coffee into a disposable cup, his back facing Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” Cas murmured, his voice barely audible over the cheers and screams of young children.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The barista turned around to reveal the green-eyed, sandy-haired man. Dean let out a low whistle when he set eyes on Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude, what kept you up all night?” he said suggestively, raising a thick eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You did</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Cas wanted to say, but he stopped himself before he could say anything he would regret.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Dean.” he said instead, a little gruffer than he intended. “Nice to see you again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Didja come to watch me make coffee?” Dean replied with a wolfish grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I came here to drink coffee.” Cas bit back, rubbing a hand over his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s what I’m here for. I’ll whip you up something good, ‘kay?” Dean said, looking a little concerned now. “Seriously, Cas, are you okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t treat me like a friend, Dean,” Cas growled, shooting an angry glare at the barista, “I still haven’t fully forgiven you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeesh, I was just trying to be nice, dude.” Dean snipped back, turning around to face the coffee machine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, a disposable cup was deposited in front of Cas. Cas blinked, looked down, then up again. Dean nodded expectantly at the cup.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, what are you waiting for? Drink the damn thing, already,” Dean said, rolling his eyes while Cas surveyed the cup.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas wanted to flip him the bird, but he figured it would be impolite to do that in a children's candy store. So instead, he just scowled at Dean and sipped his coffee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And, damn, if it isn’t the best cup of coffee he’s had in a while.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first thing he tastes is the frothy foam, then the creamy coffee that’s got so much vanilla sauce in it he could practically chew it. Peppermint flakes touched his tongue lightly before dissolving in the liquid, and Cas almost groaned with happiness. In an instant, he feels </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> much better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How is it?” Dean questioned him. Cas slowly licked a stripe of foam from his upper lip and nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s… not bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even though it isn’t the best of compliments, Dean lit up like a Christmas tree.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, ‘not bad’ is good enough for me.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ill be back soon with another chapter! probably next friday as usual, but maybe a little earlier?.. who really knows</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. honey, making a lark of the misery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i know naming chapters after lyrics is cringe but i don't have the capacity to care anymore lmao</p><p>ALSO! i posted a new fic today! it's an human/reality TV show AU. it's more of a background project and won't interfere with the schedule of this fic, but if you think that sounds like something you'd enjoy, please go read it!</p><p>anyways, here's another chapter, please enjoy! i apologize for it being short.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dean definitely wasn’t expecting Cas to show up at Sweet Dreams, especially since the guy was still righteously pissed with him, but here he was, practically drooling on the counter and demanding coffee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t his place to tell the guy to fuck off, but he was seriously thinking about it. Cas was being rude to him, and he tended to throw rude customers out without hesitation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tried to push these thoughts to the back of his mind while searching for a can of whipped cream in the overstocked mini fridge that was hidden under the counter. He was used to being wrong. Cas was being mean because he was probably exhausted. That was all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean placed the finished drink in front of Cas and waited for him to acknowledge it was there. He had made his personal favorite drink, the Snowman Latte, which was basically a vanilla and peppermint swirl of espresso. He would never admit that he liked the drink, though, since it would damage his reputation. What kind of tough guy would drink a fruity coffee like that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas blinked slowly, then looked at Dean, then back down at the drink. Obviously, his sleep-deprived brain didn’t register that Dean had made him the coffee he demanded and that it was sitting right in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, what are you waiting for? Drink the damn thing, already.” Dean said. Cas lifted the cup to his lips and Dean could practically see the light return to his baby blue eyes. He pushed down a smile when he saw the foam mustache that had collected on Cas’s upper lip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How is it?” he asked, leaning on the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas licked the foam away and muttered, “It’s… not bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, ‘not bad’ is good enough for me.” Dean responded happily. Thank God he liked the drink. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Dean.” Cas said, the sleepiness leaving his voice. “It’s delicious. What is it called?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Snowman Latte. It’s- uh, it’s a bestseller. Thought you’d like it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is in it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Peppermint, vanilla, whipped cream, and, like, a million shots of espresso.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas barked a laugh at that. Dean didn’t mean to blush, but he couldn’t stop it. Even dog-tired, Cas was the most attractive man he had ever met in his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I am certainly awake now. I may not sleep tonight, though. I’ll have to blame you for that.” Cas replied, taking another sip. Dean froze up a little. It was just part of the recipe to add a ton of espresso shots into the drink - it wasn’t on his own accord. He definitely didn’t want Cas to blame him for anything else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He must’ve made a weird face, because Cas gave him a look and said, “I’m not actually blaming you, Dean. It’s a joke.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah, I knew that.” Dean assured him, even though he knew that even if it was just for a split second, he blamed himself for being a nuisance to Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas’s eyes lingered on him for a moment, as if they were searching him, and then he dropped them to the floor. “See you later,” he muttered, and then left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he watched Cas leave, he felt a sort of <em>hollow</em> feeling in his chest. Like he wanted <em>more</em>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But what he wanted more of, he wasn't sure. Conversation? He had plenty of that, every day, from people telling him about their crazy work lives to spilling their entire life story out in front of him. He wouldn't be doing that, telling everyone about how shitty his life was, no sir, but he liked to listen, as if he was living through their stories. He certainly didn't want more night owls bustling in like drunks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, what did he want more of, exactly?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pushed these thoughts to the back of his head. There was something about Castiel that made him squirm inside, but in a good way. He still felt guilty for practically breaking in and frightening him and his kids, but underneath that, something stirred in his gut that didn't sit right with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean exhaled a breath he didn’t know he was holding and leaned back on the counter. It wasn’t as if he was jumping from a moving bus to a military car, like in </span>
  <em>
    <span>Speed</span>
  </em>
  <span>, or had accomplished any kind of physical activity at all, but he felt winded. Although, the more he thought about it, he really wouldn't mind being on that bus if it meant he was on a bus with Keanu Reeves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m goin’ soft,” he whispered to himself, picking up the mug he had used to pour coffee into the disposable cup and started wiping it with a rag. He shouldn’t feel this nervous about a customer. He’d never felt that nervous, period. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who’s going soft?” said a voice behind him. Dean turned around to see Charlie, his red-headed friend who, like him, worked as a barista at Sweet Dreams.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, uh- no one.” Dean replied, banishing thoughts of Cas and Keanu Reeves </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie cocked her head, her red curls flying to her shoulder. “You sure? You’ve wiped that mug clean, like, ten times.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean looked at the mug. He had been holding it so tightly his knuckles had gone white.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’m fine. Worry about yourself, Charlie,” Dean sighed, patting the kid on her head. She swatted his hand away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Don't touch the hair!" she snapped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Jeez Louise, sorry," Dean snapped back. Charlie wiped her hands on her apron and raised an eyebrow at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know that look. Were you thinking about Keanu Reeves again?" Charlie asked with a coy smile on her face. Dean blushed, feeling the heat rush to his face. Charlie was the only person he ever told about his crush on Keanu Reeves. He nodded shyly and Charlie grinned even wider.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Man, he would be my dream man too. If, you know- I was into guys," she gestured to he apron, where a small pin with the lesbian pride flag on it resided. "Trinity was my lesbian awakening, you know. She's so perfect and beautiful."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Dude, Trinity was <em>stunning</em>," Dean agreed, and from there they talk about <em>The Matrix</em> and <em>Speed</em> and <em>John Wick</em> and practically every other movie Keanu Reeves has been in when a small <em>ahem</em> startles their conversation. A tired parent, who had likely been waiting patiently for longer than they should, was sitting at the counter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll put this in the dishwasher,” Charlie said, plucking the cup from his hand and walking towards the kitchen as Dean took the parent's order.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he scooped out the coffee grinds, he couldn’t stop thinking about Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It worried him that it wasn’t just the fact that he had served the guy who he’d practically attacked. That was part of it, but not the whole. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the fact that Cas was </span>
  <em>
    <span>mesmerizing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The way he smiled just slightly at Dean sent goosebumps down his spine. And when Cas blushed- well, that made Dean feel in ways he couldn’t describe with words. He hadn’t felt that way since…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No way,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dean realized with a heart-stabbing pang, so painful that he almost cries out, </span>
  <em>
    <span>No fucking way. No no no no no no no.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no way.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>Dean Winchester, </span>
  <em>
    <span>the</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dean Winchester, had a </span>
  <em>
    <span>crush</span>
  </em>
  <span> on Castiel.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i post updates on my fics on my tumblr! you can take a look here:  <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/snert-stuff">Tumblr</a><br/>i most likely won't get the next chapter out by next friday, sorry :( i have a ton of homework and tests next week so that's taking up all my time</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. you got shiny friends since you left town</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm back with my shitty writing again teehee</p><p>i'm so sorry for not updating last week! and i apologize in advance for the extra-shitty writing this week. i had most of this fic outlined and drafted but forgot to finalize it so im just rushing to make it look not terrible every week. but this is mostly kind-of-not-really a fluff chapter, because soon gabriel's getting into some wAcKy HiJiNkS with Dean and Cas hehehehe</p><p>anyways, feel free to comment and tell me how bad it is lmao i need writing help :D</p><p>please enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“No way, dude,” Charlie said with a fake tone of concern, “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>like</span>
  </em>
  <span> that musty guy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not musty, Charlie,” Dean mumbled annoyedly, throwing a wet rag at her. Charlie squealed and ducked, the rag missing her just barely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who knew you were such a big softie, huh?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> a fucking softie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re just a giant teddy bear, aren't you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie held her hands up innocently. “No thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean groaned and pressed his palms to his forehead. “I’m thirty-fucking-seven. I’m too old to be having crushes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jeez, you’re in a cussing mood today,” Charlie snorted. She picked up the rag Dean had previously thrown at her and wrung it out over the sink. “Seriously, though, that guy is totally cute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean raised an eyebrow at her. “I thought you liked girls.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m not trying to steal him from you,” Charlie snorted, “And I can admit when a guy is attractive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I honestly really regret telling you this,” Dean groaned. Charlie just laughed and snapped the damp rag against Dean’s butt, making him yelp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“OW! What the fuck, Charlie?” he yelled, whipping around and grabbing the rag from her with full intent to hit her back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get your head out of your ass, Dean Winchester,” she said firmly, “And don’t you dare hit me with that rag.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You hit me first,” he muttered. Charlie rolled her eyes and slung her canvas bag over her shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, my shift’s over, so I’m out of here. I got a date tonight,” she said cheerfully, throwing on a checkered coat. “Wish me luck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Suck my dick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No thanks. See you tomorrow, you dumb bitch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not dumb!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But at that point, Charlie had already walked out of the door, her overly large coat flailing in the wind behind her. Dean sighed and leaned back on the counter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why the hell did he - God, he could barely bring himself to say the words - have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>crush </span>
  </em>
  <span>on </span>
  <em>
    <span>Castiel Novak</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all people in the world? What kind of sins had he committed to deserve this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He blew a stream of air upwards, ruffling his short hair. “This is total bullshit,” he said out loud to no one in particular. The store was already empty, a little too empty for only six in the evening, with only a few hyper kids bouncing around in a section of the shop far enough that wouldn’t hear him curse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Dean washed the rag Charlie had hit him with again, he thought about Cas. There was just something about him that was off putting and intriguing at the same time. Maybe it was the fact that he was extremely attractive, more attractive than an almost-forty-year-old should be. Or at least, he thought Cas was an almost-forty-year-old. He looked to be around that age, anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe what was so interesting about him was his gorgeous eyes. Dean had never seen that shade of baby blue on anyone else in his entire life - and he had met a lot of blue-eyed people. Maybe it was his tousled hair that looked like had just rolled out of bed, which, on any other person, would be really unattractive, but Cas looked even more stunning with it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t realize that he had been washing the same rag for almost twenty minutes until Gabriel suddenly appeared at the counter with an amused look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You good there, buddy?” he asked, snapping Dean out of his trance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh- yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” he stammered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel lifted an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, sure. Want to tell me what’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean most certainly did not want to tell his boss about his potentially massive crush on Cas, the guy who should probably sue him for breaking and entering, so he bluffed. “I don’t know, man, I’ve just been really out of it today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel shot him a sympathetic smile. “I get that. How about I let you off early today, huh? There’s practically nobody here, anyways.” His statement was punctuated by the ring of the door, signaling that the last customers had left. “Might as well close up a little early, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Gabe,” Dean said, grinning at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problemo, good sir,” Gabriel replied, chuckling, “You have to help me clean up, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas was so energized from that one cup of coffee that he secured three more job interviews scheduled for the next week and even made dinner for the four of them, allowing Jack and Claire to help per their request.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daddy, how do you break the noodles?” Jack asked with a pout, teetering on a stepstool above a pot of boiling water, struggling to snap a bundle of dry noodles in half.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Careful, Jack, you could burn yourself.” Cas hoisted Jack up by the armpits and set him on the ground. “Here, allow me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He deftly snapped the noodles in half and deposited them into the pot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, you’re strong, Dad!” Jack marveled. Cas laughed and started stirring the noodles around, kicking the stepstool aside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Jack. Why don’t you go help your sister with the sauce, hm?” he said, jutting his chin towards his daughter, who accidentally spilled tomato sauce on herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can do this myself, Dad,” she said with a hint of anger, “I’m ten, not three!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas repressed a sigh. They really did grow up too fast. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me help! C’mon, Claire!” Jack argued. They fought over the spices until Jack accidentally tipped the entire container of dried basil into the sauce.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oopsies!” he said shamefully. Cas just shook his head, but he wasn’t really angry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you two go watch TV for a bit? I’ll fix the sauce,” he suggested. Jack’s eyes lit up at the prospect of TV time and he raced Claire to the couch, both grabbing for the remote. Cas quickly scooped as much basil out as he could and tossed it into the miniature garbage can before throwing in some oregano and garlic powder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he was dishing out the noodles into bowls, he heard the front door unlock.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uncle Gabe!” Claire and Jack cheered, racing to the front door to hug Gabriel. Cas wiped his hands on the towel hanging near the sink and went to greet Gabriel as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, kiddo,” Gabriel said, nodding at Cas, “How was your day?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas thought about it for a moment, then looked back at his brother. “It was quite good. I went to Sweet Dreams and had a coffee.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah? I didn’t see you. Who was working?” Gabriel asked, hanging up his coat and giving the kids one last hug before shooing them away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean.” Cas said, walking back to the kitchen. “By the way, I made dinner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean, huh?” Gabriel said, crooking an eyebrow at him. “Smells amazing. Thanks, little bro.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was no problem. Kids, go wash your hands- it’s dinner time.” Cas called. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After everyone was situated, the four of them sat down for a nice family dinner. Gabriel told them about funny things that had happened in the store today, and Jack laughed wildly when he made silly faces to accompany his stories. Cas couldn’t help but smile. He felt so at peace with his family, right then. It felt more </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span> than it had ever had felt when he sat at dinner with Daphne. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They polished off their meal rather quickly, and then the kids brushed their teeth and went off to bed. The caffeine rush from the coffee was finally beginning to wear off, and Cas was definitely feeling it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go to sleep early, so goodnight,” he told his brother hastily after washing the dishes. Gabriel just patted his back and told him to “not let the bedbugs bite”.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas went to sleep quickly that night. He thought of Daphne, lounging around somewhere in the Bahamas with Alastair. He felt a twinge of jealousy - I mean, who </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to go to the Bahamas? - but pushed it down. It wasn’t his place to feel jealous of something he couldn’t have, not after all that he’d been given.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rolled over onto his side and checked the clock. Maybe he should go to sleep instead of worrying about his ex-wife.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So that was what he did. And for the first time in a while, he didn’t dream or even think of Dean. It was nice. Nicer than he thought it would be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Little did he know, Gabriel stood in the doorway of his room, smiling as he thought of the plan that was unfolding.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>im sorry for that mess of a chapter but i promise it'll get better (it probably won't but whatever)</p><p>thanks so much for reading, and i'll see y'all next week 🤠</p><p>you can follow my dumbass self here on <a href="https://tumblr.com/blog/snert-stuff">Tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. a tiny screen's the only place I see you now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>back again with another chapter 😎</p><p>so my dumbass didn't realized that when i said last week that gabriel would be getting into some wAcKy HiJiNks with Dean and Cas that it wouldn't be for another few weeks but i thought that chapter would be coming out this week but its not so sorry lol</p><p>and if that sentence didn't make any sense at all you should follow me on tumblr because it's fun: <a href="https://tumblr.com/blog/snert-stuff/">me but tumblr edition</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Many people assume that divorced people never loved each other in the first place - that’s why they divorced. But that wasn’t true at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas had </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved</span>
  </em>
  <span> Daphne. He had cherished her, her beautiful self, before she turned to alcohol and drugs instead of therapy. She had been, and still was, the most gorgeous person Cas had ever met in his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except for Dean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Cas didn’t like to think like that. He thought of Daphne, with her swooping dark hair and bright blue eyes that rivaled his own, her kind demeanor and her witty remarks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was how she was before the poison called alcohol had completely taken her over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It started as a quiet addiction, as Cas had come to dub it. It wasn’t controlling, but subtle. A beer here, a glass of wine there - it was normal for adults her age to indulge in a little drinking, so Cas didn’t say anything about it. At the time, they still lived in their small blue townhouse in a tiny neighborhood, nowhere near any bars. So when Daphne announced right after she had Claire that she would be going to “the local bar”, Cas was suspicious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he held his tongue. At this point, he assumed that Daphne was just having some hormonal mood swings or something, since she had recently given birth to Claire. He didn’t question it when she started going to this bar three, four times a week.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was only after she had Jack that Cas realized something was wrong. He was working from home and taking care of both children while she went shopping with her gal pals and partied all night. And it wasn’t Cas’s place to judge what she did with her life, or condone her for going out and clubbing. No, that would be wrong of him. But he figured that Daphne at least had to take care of the kids too - that was why they had two parents, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was only after Cas found a used condom that was definitely not his in the bottom of Daphne’s purse that he decided to confront her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fight was loud and violent. Daphne threw plates, cups, and even a candle at Cas, screaming and wailing that he had never provided for her. Cas didn’t lift a finger, but instead took the kids and ran.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t care where he was going, he just knew that needed to get Claire and Jack to safety. And that was how he left Daphne - even though it was really Daphne who left him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas rolled over in his bed, replaying the events of that fight with Daphne over and over in his mind. He did this quite often - thinking about what he could’ve said to her to make her stay. He knew it was in the past, but he spent too much time thinking about what he could’ve done to change it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He needed a coffee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel had already left for the day, taking the kids to school and leaving him with a text that told him that he had forgotten to buy more coffee grinds. Cas groaned when he saw that - it meant that he would be heading back over to Sweet Dreams again. Which meant he would be seeing Dean again. Not that seeing Dean was ever a bad thing, it was just that he still didn’t fully trust the guy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel apologized and sent him an online coupon for one free coffee from Sweet Dreams. Well, he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> going there now. No avoiding it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Besides, who would turn down free coffee?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean was late to work that day, since he had actually managed to get some sleep the previous night, and accidentally slept in. Thankfully, Gabe didn’t seem to notice, which meant that Dean didn’t bother to bring it up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo was there this morning, her curly blonde hair dancing over her shoulders as she whipped up a caramel macchiato. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sooo,” she teased, leaning back on the counter and jabbing a finger in Dean’s direction, “Charlie tells me you’ve got a thing for a certain someone. Who is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean groaned and crunched the paper cup he was holding. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Damn you to hell, Charlie.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s bullshit.” he replied coolly, tossing the paper cup and grabbing a new one. He poured a cup of coffee grinds into the machine and filled it up with water while Jo laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t lie to me, Winchester, I can smell it on you. Who’s the lucky guy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean grumbled. “I told you. It’s nobody.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was interrupted by the jingle of the door swinging open. And, lo and behold, there was Cas, in all his trench-coated glory. Dean felt the heat rising to his face and anxiously tried to push it down before Jo could see it, but it was too late.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ohh, that’s the guy, huh?” she whispered cheekily, “You’ve got good taste.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut </span>
  <em>
    <span>up</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he mumbled, elbowing her. She squealed in pain and smacked him on the arm as Cas trotted over and took a seat at the counter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Dean,” he said with a small smile. Dean swallowed a lump that was forming in his throat and offered him a tiny grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, man, what can I get for you?” he asked, grabbing another paper cup from the sleeve under the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What I had yesterday, please,” Cas nodded, pulling out his phone. Dean was a little disappointed, because that meant he didn’t want to talk, but he didn’t say anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Coming right up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’ll be four-ninety-five, please,” Dean said, sliding the Snowman Latte across the counter towards Cas. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas looked up at the drink and showed him a photo of a coupon. “Gabriel sent this to me,” he explained. Dean let out a small huff - he hated those free coupon things. Less wage for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, then, that’ll be…” he said, pausing as he pretended to type on the cashier, “Ah, zero bucks. Enjoy your drink.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas snorted a bit, slurping the coffee and smiling. “This is wonderful. Thank you, Dean. I’ve got to get going now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean half-smiled, disappointed that he had to be going so soon. “Okay, dude. See you later.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He watched the guy leave with sadness pulling at his heart. Maybe he’d come back tomorrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo watched him intently, following his eyes as they trailed down to Cas’s rear. Man, he had a nice butt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got it bad for him, don’t you?” she said, serving up a drink to a waiting customer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean pressed his lips together into a thin line. Jo nodded to herself. “Yeah, you do.” She glanced at Cas’s retreating form. “Hang on a minute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She quickly untied her apron and threw it at Dean, who was startled by the cloth being shoved into his hands. “Hey, where are you going?” he yelled, throwing his hands up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo exited the building and caught Cas by the sleeve of his trench coat. Oh God, this couldn’t be good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean was tempted to follow her, but another customer sat down and ordered a coffee, which meant he couldn't leave. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell is she up to?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dean wondered, sweating nervously as he dumped the used coffee filter in the trash and lined the coffee maker with a new one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo returned after a few minutes with a triumphant smile and a small piece of paper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here you go, Mr. Hot Pockets,” she joked, tossing the paper at him. He caught it deftly and unfolded it to find a phone number. His face flushed red and he growled "Don't call me that, asshat," before looking out the window.


</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas stood there, watching him with those bright blue eyes, a coy but tentative smile on his face. Dean flushed even harder and shoved the paper in his pocket, averting his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome,” Jo whispered. And though Dean couldn’t find the words, he wanted to thank her.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>im really tired lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. and I got nothing but well wishes for ya</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>please enjoy the chapter!</p><p>this week it's Gabe's POV, so that should be interesting teehee</p><p>TW for mentions of alcohol (no explicit use, but the warning is there).</p><p> <br/><a href="https://tumblr.com/blog/snert-stuff/">itsa me</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gabriel knew there was something up with Castiel.</p><p> </p><p>He knew Cas didn't like Dean. And why would he? The guy broke into his living space, almost hurt his kids and was drunk as a skunk during the whole thing. Cas hated drunks, Gabe knew that, because of his wife. And Cas didn't ever take things "lightly", like he did.</p><p> </p><p>But when Gabe saw his youngest brother sitting at the counter making <em>conversation</em> with the very man who broke into his house, he was confused, to say the least.</p><p> </p><p>Gabe was very fond of Dean, as he also kind of saw him as a younger brother. But with brotherly love comes brotherly annoyance and Gabe certainly felt that way towards his alcoholic employee.</p><p> </p><p>Dean was brash, rude, and didn't take anyone's shit, not unlike Gabe himself. But the difference was that Gabe didn't wear a suit of armor to keep others from getting in, and Dean did. All of these traits combined made Dean one of the most infuriating people he had ever met.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't exactly expect his youngest brother to - what did the kids say? - <em>hit it off</em> with Dean. And he was curious to see what they talked about.</p><p> </p><p>Were they friendly with each other? Did Cas come to Sweet Dreams to point fingers, or did he just come to get coffee? Was Dean being kind to Cas, even though that was the opposite of his personality?</p><p> </p><p>Gabe didn't dare approach them on the first day he saw Cas at the coffee counter. He watched sneakily from the shadows, and after Cas left, he was left asking more questions.</p><p> </p><p>Cas hadn't shouted or raised his voice, and neither had Dean. Gabe <em>did</em> notice Dean blushing - was it even possible for him to blush? - while Cas was drinking his coffee.</p><p> </p><p>That was... odd.</p><p> </p><p>He let it go and didn't bother either man about it. But it was stewing in the back of his mind, the thought of Dean, <em>the</em> Dean Winchester, <em>blushing</em> at his little brother. It seemed nearly impossible.</p><p> </p><p>Gabe stood outside his little brother's room that night, watching him wild he slept. Not in a creepy way - in a way that he was watching over him. Like an angel of some sort. </p><p> </p><p>Then came a thought that was both disturbing and intriguing; maybe Dean Winchester <em>liked</em> Cas. Gabe always knew that Dean was bisexual - he had come out to him during his job interview. Apparently, his preferences had got him fired from too many jobs. Gabe didn't care, and told him that it didn't matter. That was the only time he had seen Dean smile.</p><p> </p><p>He also knew about Cas's sexuality. He had come out to him over the phone in right after Gabe ran away from home.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm pan," he had said, and Gabe was confused because he thought Cas identified as a pan. Cas had laughed and explained that he was pansexual, which Gabe confused with being attracted to pans.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know anything about the LGBT's, little bro," he had muttered, embarrassed after Cas explained that pansexual meant that he was attracted to all genders. </p><p> </p><p>Gabe thought about it. Dean seemed like a shell of a man, never fully there, only experiencing anger and sadness when it was necessary. Cas was the same way. He was never the same after Daphne.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe Dean could help Cas get better.</p><p> </p><p>After all, Cas had been down recently, hadn't he? He'd had a tough couple of months. Losing his job, his home, the divorce with Daphne being finalized, the "missing" Child Support money - it had taken a toll on his littlest brother, both emotionally and physically. Cas cared very much about looking good and professional, but after the whole ordeal with Daphne, he had pretty much given up. And Gabe had noticed. </p><p> </p><p>He didn't say anything, though. That would make Cas even sadder, and as joking and carefree and annoying as Gabe was, he still cared about Cas's feelings.</p><p> </p><p>And maybe- just maybe- Cas could cut a hole in Dean's armor. With Cas's kind and caring demeanor, and Dean's stone-cold bitch attitude, they could make one hell of a power couple. Hopefully Dean didn't mind kids. Although, he did seem the type to like children more than adults.</p><p> </p><p>If Cas and Dean got together, Dean would have a home, too. Dean was homeless, living in his Impala, which was parked a few blocks away. Gabe knew this, but never brought it up with Dean - just slipped a little extra in his tip jar and added a couple of dollars onto his paycheck. If Dean knew that Gabe knew he lived in his car, it would hurt his pride, and he would probably leave.</p><p> </p><p>That would hurt Gabe, too. Because even though Dean was only an employee, he was also a friend.</p><p> </p><p>And so, Gabe's plan was set into motion.</p><p> </p><p>---------------</p><p> </p><p>It wasn't too hard to get Cas to go back to Sweet Dreams. All Gabe had to do was not buy coffee grinds. Granted, Cas could always go get his own, but he wasn't the type to go anywhere without his morning coffee.</p><p> </p><p>Gabe sent him multiple coupons for free drinks (because even if he didn't pay, it was still good for his business) so it seemed more appealing that simply buying coffee grinds from the grocery store.</p><p> </p><p>And his plan worked, as he spotted Cas again at Sweet Dreams only a few mornings later. He looked much better than the first time he came in, though he was still wearing that musty trench coat Daphne gave him so long ago.</p><p> </p><p>Gabe sighed whenever he saw that trench coat. It just reminded him of a time he wanted to forget.</p><p> </p><p>He spied on Dean and Cas while they chatted. Cas smiled a few times, and Dean basically turned into a lobster.</p><p> </p><p>Yep, he <em>definitely</em> had a thing for Cas. </p><p> </p><p>Cas left shortly after that, and Gabe smiled to himself. <em>Mission success</em>. </p><p> </p><p>But then, something unexpected happened.</p><p> </p><p>Jo, the other barista at the counter, grabbed a piece of paper and dashed outside after Cas. She was out of his vicinity, but he couldn't see what she was doing. She came back a few minutes later, with a triumphant look on her face and a crumpled piece of paper.</p><p> </p><p>Gabriel strained his neck to see what was on the paper, but Jo passed it to Dean too fast to be able to see it. </p><p> </p><p>Dean blushed, red creeping up on his neck. Jo grinned and slapped him on the shoulder before tending to another customer. Dean stood there quite stupidly with a big grin on his face before pocketing the paper and helping Jo.</p><p> </p><p>Gabriel smiled to himself and wondered what was on that paper.</p><p> </p><p>---------------</p><p> </p><p>When Gabe got home, he (very coolly) asked how Cas's day was, shrugging his coat off and plopping onto the couch next to his brother, niece and nephew.</p><p> </p><p>"Quite ordinary, if I do say so myself. Thank you for the coupons, by the way," Cas said, giving Gabe a small smile. Gabe knew there was more to that, but he didn't push it. He didn't know how Cas would react if he found out he was spying on him. Instead, wrapped his arms around his niece and nephew and gave them noogies.</p><p> </p><p>"And how were your days, squirts?" he teased, moving his hand away from Claire, who gave him a death stare and swatted his hand away.</p><p> </p><p>"'Quite ordinary, if I do say so myself,'" Claire joked, deepening her voice to mimick Cas's. Gabe barked a laugh at that. </p><p> </p><p>"Sounds boring. What about you, Jackie?" he said, grinning down at his nephew. </p><p> </p><p>"'Quite ordinary, if I do say so me-self.'" Jack replied, copying his father. </p><p> </p><p>"Hey, you copied me!" Claire pouted.</p><p> </p><p>"Actually, both of you copied me," Cas pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright, alright, enough bickering!" Gabe declared. "Did you guys already eat dinner?"</p><p> </p><p>Jack rubbed his stomach. "I'm as full as a turtle!"</p><p> </p><p>"Who says a turtle is full?" Claire questioned, wrinkling her nose at him. </p><p> </p><p>Jack stuck out his tongue. "I do, that's who."</p><p> </p><p>Cas rolled his eyes. "Off to bed, you two." He chuckled, and when Jack and Claire protested, he threw Gabe a tired look that screamed for help. </p><p> </p><p>"Go to bed or... no more candy for the rest of your life." Gabe threatened. He thought he looked intimidating, even though he stood at barely five and a half feet. The kids squealed and quickly ran into their respective rooms, fearfully thinking about a life without candy.</p><p> </p><p>"That always works," Gabe said, a smile pulling at the corners of him mouth. "You ate too, right?"</p><p> </p><p>Cas nodded. "I think I'll just go to bed now, I'm very tired."</p><p> </p><p>Gabe nodded back. "Go ahead, kiddo. G'night."</p><p> </p><p>Cas smiled, and retreated into his room. </p><p> </p><p>---------------</p><p> </p><p>Gabe sat alone at the dinner table that night, smirking to himself, thinking about just how well his plan worked.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>my headcanon that sam and gabe are the #1 shippers of Destiel and you can see that here</p><p>see you next week :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. this place is the same as it ever was</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>eyup im back at it again with another chapter A DAY EARLY wow can you even believe that im so incredibly amazing</p><p>there are no trigger warnings this week, but please tell me in the comments if there is something that might trigger someone.</p><p>additionally, thanks for all the kind comments on my story! i love reading them and they encourage me to write more.</p><p>please enjoy the chapter!</p><p>
  <a href="https://tumblr.com/blog/snert-stuff/">tumblr is cool</a>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cas hadn’t been expecting the sweet-faced blonde girl to come running after him like a protagonist in a romance movie, but alas, there she was, huffing and puffing like she had just run a marathon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Miss? Is everything okay?” he asked gently, helping the girl up, as she had folded herself over on the ground. She winced, but took his hand and stood up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… I’m fine,” she breathed, “Could you… put your phone number… on here?” She threw a piece of paper at him before collapsing to the ground again. Cas reached down to help her up but she held a palm up to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m… just out of shape… don’t worry…” she said, still breathing hard, “Man, I… really need to hit the gym...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do I need to write my number on here, again?” Cas responded, raising a skeptical eyebrow. The blonde girl stood up and brushed her hands together, her breathing finally steady.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reasons,” she said shortly, though she gave him a cocky grin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just want you to know, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>way </span>
  </em>
  <span>too old for you-” he started, before he was cut off by the girl’s laughter. She tossed her head back, blonde hair flipping over her shoulders as she cackled loudly, drawing the attention of everyone else on the street.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um- ma’am, why are you-” Cas stuttered, embarrassed, but he was cut off again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No sir, that number isn’t for me. It’s for Mister Hot Pockets over there,” she giggled, jerking a thumb at the window. Cas peered through it and saw Dean, his face lobster red. He flicked his eyes towards the window once or twice and when he saw Cas staring, he quickly gulped and turned away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mister… Hot Pockets?” Cas asked, eyeing the man’s back before flicking his eyes towards the blonde girl again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a nickname. Don’t question it. Anyways, you wanna write it or not, mister?” she said, placing a hand on her hip and fixing him with a controlled glare. If she wasn’t so tiny, she would be very intimidating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas sighed. Dean was the type of person he would give his phone number. They barely knew each other, and their relationship was delicate. One false move, and it would all come crumbling down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rubbed a hand over his face before taking the paper and pen and scratching out his number on it. What was the worst that could happen, anyways?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not like he would miss Dean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean turned the little square of lined paper over and over again in his hand. He was laying in the backseat of his beloved 1967 Chevy Impala, which doubled as both his car and his house. It’s embarrassing, living in your car, but hey, the seats were soft sometimes and it kept Dean from freezing his ass off, so he didn’t complain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He dragged a hand over his face and sighed. “Damn it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean hadn’t had a crush since high school, and that was almost twenty years ago. He had forgotten what it was like to have the cavity in his chest filled up with butterflies whenever he saw that special person. It was almost suffocating- he could barely breathe when Cas was around. And God, he had good reason not to. The man was breathtakingly beautiful, all blue eyes and black hair and everything good rolled into one human being.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Dean was a kid, his crushes were shallow. He normally only liked a girl or guy because they were attractive, and that was as deep as it got. But with Cas, Dean realized that he wanted to get to know the guy, to talk to him, to get </span>
  <em>
    <span>deep</span>
  </em>
  <span> with him. That had never happened to him before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The feeling was scary, but it was also somewhat freeing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean unfolded the tiny piece of paper and read the phone number to himself again. He had read it so many times that day that he had almost completely memorized it. He didn’t even have Sammy’s phone number memorized.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then again, Sammy probably wouldn’t even want to talk to him, so there was no point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What if I called him now?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dean’s mind raced. His heart thumped against his chest and he could feel his face heating up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, don’t do that, it’s weird,</span>
  </em>
  <span> the more logical side of his brain argued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I really want to.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t do it, Dean.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean thumbed his cracked flip phone. He had already typed the number into it and saved it as a contact. All he had to do was press one button…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No. I can’t do this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He groaned and threw the phone to the front of the car, where it landed with a resounding </span>
  <em>
    <span>thunk</span>
  </em>
  <span> somewhere underneath the seats. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll do it later.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wrapped himself in a worn fleece blanket Bobby had given him a lifetime ago, coddled up against the soft leather of the seat, and drifted off into dreamland.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas had been expecting a call. So when he didn’t get it, he was confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wasn’t it- he didn’t know, </span>
  <em>
    <span>calling etiquette</span>
  </em>
  <span> to call someone after you get their phone number? Especially when your five-foot-two co-worker attacks you as you’re walking away from your workplace? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabe was giving him weird looks every time he picked up his phone to see if he missed a call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you expecting someone?” he had asked while wiping off a glass cup and sticking it into the dishwasher right-side-up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gabriel, for the last time, you can’t put the cups in like that,” Cas pointed out, purposely avoiding the question, “You have to put them upside-down.” He grabbed the cup and flipped it upside down.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my cup, Cas, I can do whatever I damn please with them,” Gabe snapped back in a playful tone, flipping the cup right-side-up again. “And you didn’t answer my question.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not-” Cas started, but was immediately cut off by his phone ringing. He dashed to grab it and noticed it was from an unknown number. His heart started pounding - why was it pounding so hard? - as he shakily answered it and lifted it to his ear, hoping to hear Dean’s wonderfully gravelly voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?” said a perky female voice over the receiver. Cas was discombobulated for a moment, then hung up immediately without even answering the woman.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed and pressed his palms against his forehead. Spam calls. Of course. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did they even get my number,” he muttered before blocking the unknown number. Gabriel chuckled as he turned on the dishwasher. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Telemarketers, man. They just know.” Gabriel replied. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas shook his head like a dog shaking water from its ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who were you expecting, anyways? Jesus Himself?” Gabriel joked. Cas didn’t answer, and instead rested his head on the table. God, who was he kidding? Dean must’ve been pranking him, making him write his phone number on that stupid piece of paper. He probably gave it to a church in hopes they would spam call him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, that was probably what happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, Jack, you’re total </span>
  <em>
    <span>dog water!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Claire whooped, throwing her game controller in the air. Cas was surprised by the sudden outburst- he hadn’t noticed the kids silently playing Mario Kart on the widescreen TV.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am not!” he pouted, sticking out his tongue at her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s dog water?” Cas asked, confused. Kids these days and their slang. He would never understand it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It means that you’re bad at something,” Claire explained, “And Jack is dog water because he’s bad at Mario Kart.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am</span>
  <em>
    <span> not</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Jack howled, pouncing on his sister. She squealed and pushed him off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“All right, all right, calm down, kiddos,” Gabriel said, interjecting before the fight could get worse. “How about this. Let’s play together, and I’ll whoop all your as-” Cas gave him a scathing look, and Gabriel cleared his throat. “I’ll whoop all your butts in Mario Kart, and then you’ll all be equally ‘dog water’, okay?” He enunciated his words with air quotes around ‘dog water’.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, shut up, Uncle Gabe, I’ll beat you, and then </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’ll</span>
  </em>
  <span> be dog water.” Claire smirked, handing him a controller.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see about that, Miss girl. I’ll have you know that I am a </span>
  <em>
    <span>champion</span>
  </em>
  <span> in Mario Kart. I’ve never lost a game before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s untrue. I have beaten you before,” Cas butted in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You beat me </span>
  <em>
    <span>once</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and that was because I was sick off my balls and could barely see the screen.” Gabe snarked back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were ‘sick off your balls’?” Cas rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, Cassie, it’s just how I talk,” Gabe said, before screaming “DIBS ON BOWSER!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nooo! I wanted to be Bowser!” Jack pouted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas sighed and grabbed his phone. “I’m going to sleep. Please be quiet, and don’t let them stay up too late, okay, Gabriel?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course!” Gabriel said, waving a hand at him, “Go get some shut-eye, little bro, I got it under control.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas kissed Claire and Jack goodnight before retreating into his big, empty room. He tossed his phone on the bed and went to clean up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stripped down and stepped into the warm stream of water from the shower. As he soaped up his hair, his face burned with embarrassment. Why did he even think Dean would call him? It was so stupid. He hadn’t been this torn up over a missing call since high school.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was dumb, really. Caring about Dean. The man was a mess, and their “friendship” was even messier. Were they even friends? Not really, he thought, rinsing out the soap and lathering up in body wash.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean seemed like the type to play pranks. It was probably all a joke. The break-in, the coffee, everything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that blush Dean had worn- that blush was real. Cas could tell. It was real.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Who had he been blushing about? Cas wanted to know. Deep inside of his heart, he kind of hoped it was him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean also seemed to be one of those All-American, toxicically masculine dickheads. The ones who were racist shits and called gay people the f-slur like a good old boy. Cas severely hoped he wasn’t like that at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He finished showering and dried off before slipping into a ripped t-shirt and basketball shorts and slipping under the covers. He was going to have a good nights sleep, dammit, and he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to think of Dean Winchester at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally started to drift off in between thoughts of budgets and coffee, he felt something moving against his leg. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He jumped, grabbing the covers and lifting it over his head like a child. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell was that?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He thought frantically. It was almost midnight - the kids had gone to bed almost an hour ago, so it couldn’t be one of them sneaking up on him. Finally, after almost a minute, he threw back the covers to take a look at whatever was moving around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was his phone. It was vibrating with a call. Cas almost laughed - he had been so paranoid for nothing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wait. A call?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He quickly grabbed it and again noticed it was from an unknown number. His heart rate picked up again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe it’s Dean.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or maybe it’s another spam call.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, it couldn’t hurt to check, right?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He thought, pressed the “answer” button, and raised the speaker to his ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” he said, voice riddled by sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span>A moment of pause, and then a deep, rough voice that sounded absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrecked</span>
  </em>
  <span> mumbled back, “Cas?”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. but you don't like it that way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>EYO back again with a double upload</p><p>warning: this chapter has a TW for alcohol use, blood, drunkenness and overall angst. it's a bit heavier than the others but i promise it'll get better! :D</p><p>please enjoy and leave a comment! seriously i check my stats the other day and holy fuck 62 subscriptions thats a lot so um thanks for that :))</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://tumblr.com/blog/snert-stuff/">ur mom</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Dean?” Cas’s muffled voice jumped out at him over the phone. Dean blinked a few times before remembering that he had called his crush at midnight after getting too drunk to stand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here,” he muttered, squinting at the bright red stop sign in front of him. He held a bottle of beer in his left fist, and took a swig from it while Cas fretfully talked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you? What are you doing?” he asked, but Dean couldn’t really pay attention due to the enormous amounts of alcohol coursing through his body. He let out a burpy laugh and crumpled to the ground next to the stop sign. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- uh. Drunk. Got drunk again. Heh.” he spat out pathetically, taking another sip. “I’m going to die.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re not. Where are you?” Cas said firmly. Dean could hear shuffling from over the phone, which meant that Cas was most likely getting out of bed to come and get him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean didn’t want him to see him like this, so he avoided the question. “Y’know, you have a reaaaaally nice voice,” he slurred, gulping down another sip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say something you might regret,” Cas murmured, but Dean didn’t listen to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Beautiful,” he whispered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Cas said sharply, but Dean just chuckled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ooh, Mister Alpha, aren’t you?” he giggled. “Bet you’re one feisty top.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Dean!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Cas snapped, making Dean jump back a little, “That is completely inappropriate!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>sorry</span>
  </em>
  <span>, good sir,” Dean said snarkily. He went to take another sip but found there was nothing left in the bottle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For fuck’s sake,” he grumbled, before proceeding to smash the bottle onto the ground, breaking it into a thousand tiny shards.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What was that? Are you okay?” Cas said, reacting to the noise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span> you care, huh?” Dean growled, bringing the phone to his lips so that the speaker was right against his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I care about everyone, Dean, no matter how bad they can be.” said the deep voice from over the phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, sure you- SON OF A BITCH!” he howled as he placed his hand on a piece of broken glass. He held back tears as he quickly withdrew his hand and pressed it against his jeans. When he brought his hand away, he saw a large bloodstain on his pants.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean? Are you okay?” said Cas, again. Now Dean was just getting annoyed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know what? Fuck you. I’m on Madison Street, right outside of Sweet Dreams. Come and get me. I dare you. I fucking dare you.” Dean barked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not a dare, Dean, I’m coming to get-” Cas’s voice said tiredly, but Dean cut off the call before he could finish his sentence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stupid motherfucker,” he grumbled, standing up and walking away from the shattered glass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel didn’t question where Cas was going, only asked if he could tag along. He knew that something happened with Dean, but Cas didn’t care to elaborate on what exactly had happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where?” Gabriel asked, buckling in his seatbelt as Cas plugged in the address.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Madison, outside of-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sweet Dreams. Goddamn it.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas said nothing, just slammed down on the gas pedal and sped out of the parking garage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They reached Madison in a matter of minutes, and found a glowing red stop sign with broken glass littered around it. “Shit,” Gabriel said, concern lacing the edges of his voice, and he quickly ran over to it. He picked up a shard that was dripping with blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit, shit, shit,” Gabriel muttered, before dashing down the street and disappearing into the dark.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gabriel! Wait!” Cas called after him, but there was no response. He huffed and exited the car, locking the door behind him, and raced after Gabriel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It appeared that he had run down into a skinny alley that was directly parallel to Sweet Dreams. Cas couldn’t see much, but it looked like there was a car parked down at the end of the alley, and a few trash cans inside of it. He saw a figure at the end, near the car, and immediately knew it was Gabriel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gabriel? What is it? Are you okay?” he shouted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine! I just- I found him.” Gabriel shouted back. His voice had a sad tone to it, which made Cas think that nothing good could’ve happened to Dean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He dashed down the alley and when he reached the end, he found Gabriel helping a wasted Dean get into the black car. The car looked old, very old, but in good condition. Cas didn’t know much about cars, but he did know that it was a very nice one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you-” Cas began to ask, before connecting the dots in his head. “This… this is…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Gabriel said sadly, finally shoving Dean’s body into the backseat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s homeless?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guy’s had a tough life. He can’t afford his own home, because he spends too much money on whatever gets him drunk enough to forget.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Forget what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To hell if I know.” Gabriel shrugged, propping up Dean’s legs on the leather seat. Dean was half-awake, his eyes blotchy and red, like he had been crying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, we can’t just leave him here, all alone,” Cas said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, then, what do we do?” Gabriel asked, lowering his voice as Dean started to snore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas sighed. “We bring him back home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was almost two in the morning by the time they had gotten Dean back home. He had woken up while they were transferring him into Gabriel’s car, and he had put up quite a fight for a drunk guy until Cas knocked him out again with a punch right to the nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” he had said. He didn’t like inflicting harm on anyone, but he convinced himself it was a necessary measure in order to secure Dean’s safety.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas couldn’t help but notice that Dean was a very attractive sleeper. He had extremely long eyelashes that made him look like Sleeping Beauty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Cas remembered that he had called him “Mister Alpha” and cussed at him when he tried to help, and the thoughts quickly disintegrated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We should put him in the tub,” Gabriel suggested, his voice weary and tired. And how could Cas blame him? His employee, who he obviously considered a close friend, had gotten drunk and went off into the night. Of course he was tired.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel entrusted the task of stripping Dean down and soaking him in the tub to Cas, waved goodnight, and went into his room. Cas didn’t bother to argue - his brother hadn’t had the best day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas gulped, standing over the unconscious man. It felt illegal. The whole taking-clothes-off. But he wasn’t going to do anything bad to Dean, right? So it wouldn’t be. No, he was just being a good person.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shrugged off Dean’s leather jacket and then removed his sweaty, ripped AC/DC t-shirt to reveal rippling muscles underneath it. Who knew a hobo could be so ripped? Cas nearly blushed, but quickly moved on to his pants. He did that as fast as possible and didn’t even bother to remove his underwear before plunking him in the already-full tub.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean didn’t wake immediately, but he slowly started to open his eyes. Cas felt hot again as soon as he saw those sparkling green eyes. He turned around as to not embarrass himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cas?” croaked Dean’s voice from the tub. “That you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh God,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Cas thought, dragging a hand over his face, </span>
  <em>
    <span>This is going to be a very long night.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i should really write longer chapters</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. it's never too late</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>what's popping readers i'm sorry for not updating last week but i present to you a somewhat longer chapter to suffice (it was 5 pages on my google docs and i consider that a lot thank you very much)</p><p>TW for mentions of alcohol/drunkenness and mentions of kidnapping.</p><p>please enjoy!</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://tumblr.com/blog/snert-stuff/">yuh get it i guess</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The first thing Dean became aware of when he came to was his brain, feeling like it doing somersaults inside of his skull. The second thing he noticed was how </span>
  <em>
    <span>warm</span>
  </em>
  <span> he felt, like he was wrapped in a heated blanket. He settled into the warmth, as he rarely felt it during the cold winter nights spent in his car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wait. If he was warm, then this couldn’t possibly be his car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when his eyes opened on their own accord, slowly and weakly. His eyelids felt like they weighed a million pounds- it almost hurt to lift them. Nevertheless, they did open, and Dean glanced around his new surroundings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He deduced he was in a bathroom pretty quickly, judging by the tiled walls. But whose bathroom was it? Dean quickly became panicked but didn’t dare move. Maybe he had been kidnapped when he had gotten himself blind drunk. No, but he would’ve remembered that- or would he? His head started spinning so fast that he thought he was going to black out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Get a hold of yourself, Dean,</span>
  </em>
  <span> his inner voice muttered. He snapped back to reality and inhaled a deep breath. Even drunk, Dean would never let himself be kidnapped, not without a fight. And he couldn’t feel any broken bones or bruises, which he certainly would’ve acquired if he had put up a fight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And all of a sudden, he realized that he was naked, and in a bathtub filled with water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Holy fuck, I’m naked!</span>
  </em>
  <span> He thought frantically. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Holy fuck, whose bathroom is this?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Someone must’ve undressed him- wait, did that mean he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> get kidnapped? His head started to pound again. He flailed his arms weakly, and as his fingers touched his palm, he realized that they weren’t wrinkly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Okay, so, I haven’t been in this tub for long,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he reasoned, and strained his neck to take a look around the rest of the bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He saw a figure standing next to the sink with his back facing him. His captor, obviously, because surely Dean had been so drunk that he had gotten fucking kidnapped. The guy ran a hand over his face and through his thick tuft of black hair. That hair- it looked familiar to Dean, but he couldn’t figure out who it belonged to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He saw his clothes, pooled on the ground near the man’s feet. So this guy must’ve been the one who captured him. Well, he had already figured that out, but it was good to have confirmation that this was, indeed, the man who captured him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then the guy turned around, his bright blue eyes shining as he looked down on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was… Cas?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean was confused. Cas wouldn’t kidnap him. Dean wouldn’t have fallen in love with a kidnapper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well. He wasn’t in love. He denied it. But he had a feeling- just a gut feeling- that maybe it was love.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shoved those thoughts out of his mind and focused on Cas’s burning blue eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cas?” he croaked. “That… that you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas visibly gulped, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “Hello, Dean. How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like someone broke my skull with a hammer. I’m doing just fine,” Dean said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and recoiling when it hurt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry to hear that. Is… is there anything I could get you?” Cas asked gingerly. Dean cocked his head in confusion. Why was Cas treating him like he was a patient in a hospital?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And how the hell did he get here in the first place?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m, er- I’m fine, Cas. Do me a favor and- is Gabriel here? Can you get him for me?” Dean groaned, carding a hand through his damp hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” Cas left the bathroom, gently closing the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, Dean felt around his crotch area and found that his boxers were still on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank God, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought with a sigh of release. So Cas wasn’t a creep either. That was nice to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean laid in the bathtub for a few minutes longer, waiting for Gabriel to arrive. Finally, the door swung open, and in came Gabriel with an astronomically pissed expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Big G, what’s up?” Dean asked, his voice shaking a little after seeing Gabriel’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cut the crap, Dean. What the fuck happened?” Gabe said without a trace of his normal joking tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- I don’t- what are you talking about? What happened? How did I get here?” Dean said, truly puzzled. He still couldn’t remember how he had gone from a few drinks in his car to having a hangover in his boss’s bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You really don’t remember?” Gabe scoffed, leaning against the vanity. Dean shook his head, a few droplets from his hair splashing onto the wall. “You called Cas at midnight, called him inappropriate names- which he won’t even tell me, so I know they were bad- and acted like a complete asshole towards him. That’s what happened.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean squinted his eyes at him for a few moments. Yup, that sounded like something he would do. Except he didn’t remember any of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You- you seriously don’t remember any of this? You’re practically a boomer. Do you need your memory meds?” Gabe snorted, rolling his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you’re the forty-year-old here,” Dean mumbled, scratching at his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m young at heart,” Gabe joked, waggling his finger, before his face settled back into the solemn look. “For real, though. That was a really shitty thing for you to do, Dean.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean sighed and splashed some water onto his neck. “I know. I know. I’m sorry, dude. I don’t know why I got drunk.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was a lie. Dean truly didn’t remember any of the events leading up to him waking up in the bathtub, but he did remember the reason for his excessive drinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had been scrolling through his phone, occasionally clicking on Cas’s number as if to call him, when he had gotten to the bottom of his messages and found an abandoned group chat with him, Sam, Bobby and Ellen. He had sat straight up and hungrily read through the messages in the chat, reliving every second of his past. The chat had been abandoned for almost three years, around the same time since- well. Dean didn’t like to think about it. But then he did, and then he got angry, and he rid himself of his anger by doing the only thing he knew how to do- drink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean looked down at his legs in the bathtub, ashamed. He kicked up a wave of water that splashed outside the tub.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabe simply sighed and massaged his forehead. “I’ll let it slide, Dean, but the next time this happens, you’re losing your job.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean’s head jolted upright. “What? Gabe, please-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean, kiddo, this has got to be- what, the fifth or sixth time you’ve done this? I love you like a brother, man, but I can’t keep supporting you if you’re not going to let me help you.” His eyes shone with hurt as he focused them back onto Dean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean exhaled sharply from his nose, knowing the topic of the conversation that was coming up. “Gabe, you can’t make me to an AA meeting. I can’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>making</span>
  </em>
  <span> you do anything. But I really-” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Gabe, I’m not- I’ll never- I’m not going. I won’t.” Dean said, struggling to find the words to convey his anger without getting angry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabe heaved another sigh. “Fine. But I’m being serious. One more time. That’s it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t do it again, Gabe, I promise.” Dean said, more of a plead than a promise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m holding you to that. And,” Gabe said, his sad face quirking into a happy one, “You have to apologize to Cas.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn.” Dean muttered to himself, before turning back to Gabe. “Fine, fine, bring him in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabe smirked and left, shoving Cas back into the room a few moments later. Cas stood awkwardly and nervously smiled at Dean, who could tell he was using all of his willpower to not look at his muscular torso. He grinned a little bit at that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um. Gabriel said you had something to tell me?” Cas spoke after a long period of uncomfortable silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah.” Dean said, tearing his eyes away from Cas. “I’m really sorry, man. I don’t remember anything, but- but Gabe told me what happened and it sounded like a dick move so- I’m sorry.” He forced himself to look Cas in the eyes again. It was so easy just five seconds ago, so why was it so hard now?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I accept your apology, Dean,” Cas said, relief flooding his face. “If you would like, you can stay the night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No offense, Cas, but I’m not sure that’s your decision to make.” Dean said, “I mean, this is Gabriel’s house, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said it was okay as well. You’ll have to take the couch, though.” Cas replied, and Dean could tell he wanted to say something else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well. I guess I’ll stay, then.” Dean said, rising out of the bathtub. Pins and needles rushed to his feet, and he hissed as he stood up. He stepped out onto the purple bath mat and reached for a towel hanging opposite from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t happen to have a spare pair of pajamas, do you?” he asked, a little embarrassed. One look at his clothes told him that they were in no condition to be worn for the tenth day in a row. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, let me grab them for you.” Cas said, seeming grateful for a reason to leave. “Oh, and I suppose you’ll need, um. You’ll need.” Cas stuttered, his face flushing with red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Dean asked, confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll need. Erm. Boxers.” Cas continued, his eyes flicking down to Dean’s soaked boxers. Dean raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ew, dude, I’m not wearing your underwear,” Dean said, a little grossed out. Cas’s face flushed even more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have a pair I haven’t worn at all. I’ll- I’ll just go grab it, then.” he murmured, barely audible, and stumbled out of the room. Dean smirked a bit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas returned a few minutes later with a mound of clean clothes. “Here, um, put these on, and I’ll put these-” he paused, bending down to pick up the dirty clothes on the floor, “-In the wash.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, man, I really appreciate it.” Dean stood there awkwardly, waiting for Cas to leave so he could get out of his wet boxers, which were cooling rapidly, leaving his thighs chilly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ll be on my way now. Um- goodnight, Dean.” Cas said, flashing him a small smile that sent a shiver down his spine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Night, Cas,” he said, and returned the smile as the door shut behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean changed quickly, inhaling the scent of Cas’s clothes. It smelled like a freshly mowed lawn, mixed with sunshine and cotton candy. It was heavenly. He could roll in that scent forever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally exited the restroom, it was almost four in the morning. Everyone was asleep, including Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean quietly flicked off the lights and dove onto the couch in the living room, where he found a thick blanket and a hand-written note.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sweet dreams, Dean. -Cas</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>please leave kudos i require validation</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. to come back to my side</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi there everyone :DDD im a badass bitch and edited the chapter in one day how about that</p><p>TW FOR: nightmares, panic attacks, mentions of fire, mentions of child abuse, brief mentions of homophobia</p><p>additionally i’m thinking of renaming this fic “achilles come down” pls comment if you think this is a good idea &lt;3</p><p>i hope you enjoy, this chapter is pretty much angst because it can't ALL be awkward flirting, can it?</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://tumblr.com/blog/snert-stuff/">mi tumblr :D</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cas blushed madly to himself as he tossed and turned in his bed. Why did his face turn into a tomato whenever Dean was around? He hated it, but also loved it, and that scared him a little bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He quickly settled into a starfish position, his arms and legs splayed out under the thin cover. He didn’t understand why he hadn’t been harsh with Dean back there in the bathroom- especially since he had every right to be cruel. But he had been kind, and that bothered him. Why had he been kind to him? He pondered on the answer, searching his brain for a plausible explanation, but found none.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unless…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thought grumpily, banishing those thoughts from his mind. No, Castiel Novak did not have a crush on Dean Winchester. That was stupid. That was-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Completely plausible,</span>
  </em>
  <span> his brain whispered. He imagined himself whacking that thought with a large wooden mallet, like a cartoon character, and flipped over onto his side, dragging his arm across the smooth sheet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But what if he did? What if he did, indeed, have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>crush</span>
  </em>
  <span>- God, the very shape of that word sent a wave of heat through his face- on the green-eyed man? He’d be completely justified, of course. Dean was a very attractive man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But… What if Dean was straight?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas had just come to terms with the fact that he might have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>tiny</span>
  </em>
  <span> crush on Dean, and this thought ultimately crushed him. Cas knew from a young age that he wasn’t just attracted to women- he was attracted to everyone. He had even dated a guy in secret when he was in fifth grade, when all of his friends at his Catholic school had been dating other girls. He couldn’t picture the guy’s face anymore, or remember his name, though. Cas just knew that he had just been trying to fit in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had failed at concealing the fact that he was “dating” another boy, as he thought that it was the same as “dating” a girl, like his friends did. When he first introduced his “boyfriend”, his so-called friends had recoiled in disgust and called him slurs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas had left the school soon after, and learned pretty quick that there was no place for him in the world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he had to carve it out for himself. He kept his sexuality a secret from everyone, including his wife, and only ever told Gabriel about his preferences- or, really, lack of preference. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel had thought he was attracted to frying pans. Really, he shouldn’t have expected anything else from his brother.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Gabriel had been a good secret-keeper, and Cas was grateful for that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean gave off macho-man, All-American homophobe signals, and Cas hated- </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>falling</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the alcoholic piece of shit. He couldn’t help himself, though. Dean was just too beautiful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas, once again, shoved these thoughts to the back of his mind and flipped over to his other side. His pillow was warm on both sides now, and he sighed with discontent. He reached over and picked up his phone to see that it was almost five in the morning. He hadn’t gotten any sleep at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He groaned unhappily and sat up. None of the places he had been interviewed for had gotten back to him, which was a clear sign that he still was jobless. He didn’t want to be a bother to Gabriel for long. The kids were, as loveable as they could be, a burden to a busy man like Gabriel, since they constantly needed attention that neither Castiel nor Gabriel could give all the time. And Cas had promised that they wouldn’t be living here for long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, again, he was getting off track with his thoughts, and when he glanced at his phone again he found that it was almost five thirty. He leaned back, his joints popping like firecrackers, and launched himself out of his bed, landing with a soft </span>
  <em>
    <span>thunk</span>
  </em>
  <span> on the carpeted floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when he heard the whimpering.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At first he thought it was a stray animal that had snuck into his apartment. He had owned pets before, and knew what an injured animal could sound like.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But this sounded human. Painfully human. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas didn’t think a human could make a sound that pained, that raw, but when he noticed that the sound was coming from the living room, he learned that yes, a human could make that noise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Curled up on Gabriel’s couch in Cas’s clothes, squeezing a blanket tightly, whimpering like a bleeding dog, was Dean Winchester. He sniffed a few times in his sleep, then choked on a whine that sounded like it hurt. He sobbed quietly into the blanket, a slick sheen of sweat covering his forehead and arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas stood there in the entryway to the living room, frozen, unsure what to do. This man was hurting, he was in pain- that much was clear. He sounded like he was about to die. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He came to his senses when an ear-splitting scream tore through the silent night air. Dean shook with fine tremors and he sobbed loudly, biting into the blanket. Cas snapped out of his thoughts and dashed to the couch, laying a cold palm on Dean’s sweaty arm. He shivered a little underneath his hand, and Cas thought for a second he had woken up- but then Dean howled again, using his other arm to scratch at his side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, stop that,” Cas muttered, grasping his arm and holding it tightly. Another scream ripped out of Dean, nearly shattering Cas’s eardrums.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean! Dean, wake up!” Cas yelled, shaking Dean’s shoulders. He cringed at the moisture of the shirt- he must’ve been sweating a lot underneath it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“DEAN!” he screamed, loud enough to rival Dean’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean’s green orbs shot open, haunted and scared, flicking around the room before settling on Castiel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cas,” was all he could say, before Cas offered his torso for him to wrap his arms around. Dean clung to Cas like a tree, sobbing quietly into his shoulder, while Cas struggled to lift his weight off the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gabriel,” Cas choked out, heart heavy with sadness as he saw his older brother exit his bedroom, his eyes weary but concerned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shit, is he okay?” he asked, voice groggy with sleep. Cas nodded, placing his hand on Dean’s back and rubbing small circles with two fingers. “Here, uh- put him on a chair, or something- and I’ll get him a glass of water.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daddy?” Jack’s tiny voice rang from behind him. Cas swung around to see his son with a frightened look in his eye standing in the kitchen. His hair was messy, sticking up in every which way, not unlike Cas’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go back to sleep, Jack, ‘kay?” he said, straining a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that Mister Dean?” he asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it is. He’s had a nightmare. I think.” Cas sighed, kicking a chair away from the dining table. “Sorry Jack, can you put yourself back to bed? I can’t right now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But, daddy-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, Jack-Jack, let’s go back to sleep.” Gabriel said, escorting the boy back to his room and shutting to door behind him. Cas bit out a “thank you” before throwing Dean into the chair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean was still crying, though the sobs had stopped and only a few small tears dribbled down his face. His eyes were red and blotchy, and the green of his eyes were clouded over with sadness. It broke Cas to see him this way, even if they weren’t really friends. But Cas hated seeing anyone in pain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean-o, are you okay?” Gabriel asked, setting a glass of water down in front of the burly man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean nodded, grabbing the glass and gulping down a large sip before slamming the glass down on the table, gasping.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened there?” Cas sighed, leaning on the island, arms crossed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t- wanna-” Dean started, his voice catching on unshed tears, “-I don’t want to talk about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn it, Dean, you call me at midnight, drunk out of your mind, and we take you back here and take </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span> of you, and then you have a fucking nightmare and woke my </span>
  <em>
    <span>son</span>
  </em>
  <span> up, and now you won’t fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>tell us</span>
  </em>
  <span> what happened?” Cas snarled, unable to control his anger. The run-on sentence rendered him breathless, and he took a second to inhale.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, be nice, dude,” Gabriel said sharply, turning back to Dean. “Dean. Just- just tell us what’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>, man, or tell us how we could help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> help, dipshit,” Dean hissed, jabbing a finger at Cas, “Especially when you talk to me like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m perfectly justified in talking to you like this,” Cas said coldly, and all of a sudden he couldn’t remember why he had thought he liked Dean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck this, I’m leaving,” Dean growled, shoving out of his chair. He shed himself of Cas’s shirt and threw it onto the floor. “Take your shitty shirt back. I don’t fucking need it,” he turned back to Cas and locked eyes with him, “Or you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He barged into the bathroom, where his ratty shirt was hanging, and threw it on. He laced up his boots and grabbed his leather jacket while Gabriel and Cas just watched him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean slammed the door up and left without another word.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------------------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fire. Everything was on fire, the walls, the ceiling, the couch he was sleeping on. Dean couldn’t stop the fire, no matter what, and he sobbed and screamed and wanted it all to stop- it hurt so much, God, it hurt- and he yelled for help but knew deep down that no one would save him…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Until he saw a pair of bright blue eyes, scared shitless as he was, staring down at him. “Cas,” he managed to say, before winding his toned arms around him and shoving his face into his clothed shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no fire.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was only Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest was a blur. He was placed in a chair, the divots of the wood digging into his back. He heard the small voice of a child, presumably male, so he figured it was Cas’s son. Shit. He didn’t mean to bother Cas’s family again. But he had done that, just by making that phone call only a few hours, though it felt like an eternity ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean-o, are you okay?” Gabriel asked him. Dean swigged from the glass of water he was provided with, wishing it was a beer, and slammed it on the table. His throat burned from the liquid, and screaming. Mostly screaming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean didn’t want to tell Gabriel that his supposed trauma had caused him to have a nightmare. Gabriel knew what had happened- he knew about the Incident. He hadn’t meant to burden him with it, but one night during a company party, he had gotten so drunk that he had spilt the whole story.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What happened with Sammy, and his father.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why he doesn’t have friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And why Sammy doesn’t talk to him anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Honestly, Dean shouldn't even have the right to call Sam “Sammy” anymore. Samuel Winchester? Maybe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>““I don’t- wanna-” Dean spluttered, “-I don’t want to talk about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas yelled at him. He wasn’t listening. His head was pounding, the room spinning, and he could feel something coming up. Throw-up, or maybe a panic attack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had yelled at Cas, which he shouldn’t have done, but it was too late. Words stung. He knew that much. So he just threw off Cas’s shirt, slapped on his own, and got his stuff and left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean stumbled down the long, clean hallways for almost an hour. It was a maze, and Dean halfway wished that Cas would come running after him, and tell him he was sorry, and maybe kiss him. But he also knew that those were just fantasies that lived inside his brain, his dead, rotten, stinking brain. A brain that had been dead for years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean didn’t live. He just experienced the worst emotions, and dealt with it, because if he left the world then who would take care of Sam?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well. That’s what he used to think. Before the Incident. As he stumbled through another web of halls, he pushed thoughts of the Incident out of his mind. No, he would </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> think about the Incident again tonight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck. That did it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shoved himself against the wall, probably pissing off the person sleeping on the other side, but he couldn’t bring himself to care at all in the moment. His breathing sped up, faster and faster, until he was hyperventilating.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean’s eyes pooled with tears that threatened to spill. He held them back to the best of his abilities, to the point where it hurt him to do it. But he wouldn’t let them fall. He would never let them fall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His vision blurred in and out, black spots peppering the corners of his vision. Oh God. This would be a bad one, he just knew it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Breathe in, breathe out. Come on, Dean. Snap out of it.” he choked out, his words more like a sob than a sentence. He snapped his head back, hitting the wall, and groaned with pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God, no, not now, please, not now, not now, please, not now,” he begged to no one in particular. He gripped his head with his rough hands and suppressed a scream. He didn’t want to bother anyone else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while of hyperventilating, he found the courage to stand up. He rose slowly, his hand shuddering against the cool wall, and he managed to walk a couple steps before having to stop. Tears slapped against his skin, a display of his weakness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Weak.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hobbled down the hallway, trying to keep his sobs quiet, but they were racking his body, making him shiver and shake, sending tremors down his spine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, no, no, no,” he muttered, lips shaking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His legs slipped out from underneath him, and he hit the ground with a thud. He knew he must’ve hit something, because he could taste iron underneath his tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slamming a hand against the wall again, he let himself cry out in pain as he army-crawled over to it. He sat against it, sobbing loudly, unable to care about who was listening anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And suddenly, he heard a door open. Panic flashed through him, causing his breathing to speed up even more. </span>
  <em>
    <span>God, no, nobody can see me like this. No, no, no, no, no-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean?” a female voice asked, tired but laced with worry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean saw red hair, and big brown doe eyes with flecks of green, and choked out “Charlie,” like he had said Cas’s name, before collapsing into her arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe that motherfucker,” Cas said angrily, keeping his voice low so as to not disturb Jack, who was probably still awake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s-” Gabriel started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-Had a hard life, I know, I KNOW!” he screamed, losing control of his temper and screaming his rage out. He had never felt so angry in his life. He had taken in, sheltered, helped and </span>
  <em>
    <span>comforted</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dean, and he treated him like shit. How could he not get angry?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel stood there, his eye bags pronounced as he rubbed them tiredly. “Sit down, Cas.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I will not </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> sit down, Gabriel, I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“SIT. DOWN.” Gabriel yelled, his voice deepening impossibly as he raised his voice. Gabriel was barely five foot six, but he was terrifying when he yelled. Cas shuddered at the tone of his voice and immediately sat down without another word.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel sighed and plopped down into a chair. “Dean Winchester. God. The poor guy. He’s not, well, he’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>stable</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I could tell,” Cas snarked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean- just- just shut up and let me explain,” Gabriel sighed again. “Dean has a younger brother. Sam. And a dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No shit, Gabriel-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let. Me. Finish. His dad was- well, he was abusive. He- he </span>
  <em>
    <span>hit</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dean and his brother. He wasn’t always like that, but it got bad after Dean’s mom died in a fire.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Her name was Mary. Dean speaks of her like she’s a fucking god or something. But he hates talking about her, because for some fucked-up reason he thinks it’s his fault that she’s dead.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas opened his mouth to ask a question, but Gabriel held a hand up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>done,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Cas. I don’t know why he thinks it’s his fault, but he does, and I can’t change that. So, dear old daddy is abusing him and his brother, and he decides to get the hell outta Dodge and skips town with Sam and two family-friends who practically raised them. Bobby and Ellen, he said. I think. Anyways, they move to a small town in Colorado, and have a pretty nice time until Sam goes off to college in California. And all’s fine and dandy until Dean goes to visit him in his junior year.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sam and Dean were really close, too. Like, closer than you and I could ever be. And they were close enough that Sam felt comfortable letting Dean stay in the same apartment as him and his girlfriend, Jess. But one night, Dean leaves the stove on or something and the whole place catches fire. And Jess dies. Sam tried to save her, but Dean panicked and held him back so he couldn’t, and Sam got really angry once Dean admitted it was his fault that the place went up in flames. He never forgave Dean and completely shut him out of his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was a long time ago, but they haven’t talked since. And Dean left Colorado and moved to California to support Sam, but Sam didn’t want that, and Dean couldn’t afford to move back, so he stayed here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel finished with yet another sigh and leaned back in his chair. Cas kept his face neutral. It was a lot to take in. Sure, he knew somewhat that Dean must’ve experienced something really traumatic to be drinking so heavily all the time- but he didn’t expect this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mean to be cheesy, Cas, but remember the quote ‘Be kind. Everyone’s fighting their own battles’ or whatever? You might want to remember that.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*loads gun* hand over your kudos </p><p>lmao just kidding but i hope you enjoyed</p><p>additionally i’m thinking of renaming this fic “achilles come down” pls comment if you think this is a good idea &lt;3<br/>ALSO PLEASE COMMENT AND SAY WHATEVER U WANT I LOVE READING COMMENTS AND THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY :DDD okay bye lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. the stars in your eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey im back and i've got a short chapter but i'm uploading a charlie and gabe-centric chapter tmrw or sunday so that'll be pretty fun!!</p><p>TW FOR: MENTIONS OF PANIC ATTACKS, NON-GRAPHIC CHILD ABUSE, NON-GRAPHIC FIRE, NON-GRAPHIC MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL, DRUGS, AND SMOKING!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! (this chapter is skippable, and does not contain anything that's really important to the plot! if any of these are your triggers, please do not read! stay safe bestie!)</p><p>this chapter is pretty short, like i said before, but i am feeling better so i will be getting back to a regular upload schedule!</p><p>please enjoy! reminder that this chapter does not contain anything that is super relevant to the plot and can be skipped if needed!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After the panic attack, Dean’s memory was a total blobby haze of nothingness. He remembered a flash of red- Charlie’s hair, he had discovered- and a cool compress being pushed against his forehead, which was burning. He remembered Charlie asking if he was okay, her nervous pacing, and chuckling at how worried she was about him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>funny</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Dean!” she had fretted with a twinge of annoyance in her voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right. This is hilarious.” Dean giggled. Charlie groaned and removed the towel from his forehead to wet it again. Dean was laying on her old red couch that creaked whenever he moved any part of his body. It was really annoying, and Dean already felt overstimulated, because everything was too loud and too quiet all at once, but he decided not to complain about it, not after Charlie was so nice to take him in while he was in that state.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She scurried back, throwing the compress onto his forehead with a wet slap, before going back to the kitchen to grab a bowl. Dean hissed at the sudden cold. “I swear, Dean, you have got to take care of yourself better.” She paused her scuttling to ponder on her words. “Take better care of yourself. That’s what I meant. Yeah.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do take care of myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not just your physical body. Your mental health, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine up there, Charlie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re not!” Charlie snapped, slamming the bowl down on the counter so powerfully it shattered. “Goddamn it, see what you made me do?” She huffed angrily and bent down to pick up the broken shards.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean just rolled his eyes. “You’re worrying too much. I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When was the last time you, like, talked about your feelings? I’m sure you’ve got a lot of them. Especially since you’re harboring a serious crush on Mister Blue-Eyes.” Charlie remarked, the frustration previously present in her voice masked by concern.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean flushed and looked away. “I don’t want to talk about Cas right now.” God, even just </span>
  <em>
    <span>saying</span>
  </em>
  <span> his name felt illegal or something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just tell me something, Dean. I can help. I know firsthand that just </span>
  <em>
    <span>talking</span>
  </em>
  <span> about what’s bothering you helps.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to burden you, Charles.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t call me Charles. And it wouldn’t be a burden. Trust me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean sighed and blew a stream of air upwards towards his close-cropped hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. I’ll tell you some.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hooray! Alright, let me get settled down.” Charlie cheered, tossing the pieces of the bowl into the trash and flinging herself into a chair, sliding the legs across her wood floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess it started with Sammy and me. And Dad,” Dean started slowly. He still didn’t want to say too much, since he hated talking about things that happened. He’d much rather focusing on things that were happening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And Sammy is your brother, right?” Charlie interrupted, earning herself a dirty look from Dean. “Right, sorry. I won’t butt in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Sammy’s my little brother. Dad was- well, he was never the same after Mom died. She was his sun, moon, and stars. His entire galaxy. And yeah, he loved me and Sammy, but he never loved the same after Mom. I don’t really remember Mom, either, cos’ I was really young when she died.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There was a fire one night. Big one. Took out our entire neighborhood. ‘Course, damn Winchester luck caught us again and my mom was the only one who died. Lots of people were injured. Dad was one of those people. Sammy almost got injured, but I carried him out of the house and-” Dean stopped, taking a breath to prevent himself from oversharing. He didn’t want to tell Charlie about his scars yet. “After that, Dad started drinking, smoking, and I even caught him shooting up once. He said he never did it again after that. I doubt he kept that promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jeez, Dean, that’s horrible.” Charlie said softly, fiddling with her fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He stopped being my dad and started being more of a robot. Except when he’d get angry, and when he got angry, he’d hit me or Sammy. I didn’t want Sammy to go through that, ‘cos he deserved not to get hit. So I’d take it for Sammy. I mean, it hurt, but I always told myself that it was okay, because at least Sammy wasn’t hurt. And Dad, even though he beat me, told me that my number one priority was always Sammy. Not myself, not him. I think it was because he knew we were both lost causes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, yeah, mostly it was just Sammy and me most of the time. That’s how we liked it, because Dad was always drunk and angry, so we preferred it when he wasn’t home. But we kind of had replacement parents. Bobby and Ellen-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, I remember you talking about them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they were great. Bobby taught me how to ride a bike, throw a football, all the stuff my dad was supposed to do. And Ellen taught me to shoot, and hunt. Which was pretty badass. Ellen’s daughter Jo-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, the Jo that works with us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One and the same. Except Jo and Ellen got into a fight a few years after I left Sioux Falls- that’s where they lived- and cut off all contact with them. Like I did. We don’t talk about it anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you talk to them? And you left? Why did you do that?” Charlie asked, standing up and removing the wet towel from Dean’s forehead, which had lost its coolness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, um-” Dean started, then stopped himself. He had already said too much, and although Charlie had insisted that he wasn’t being a burden, he knew that he was anyways. “You know, it isn’t important. It’s- it’s not a big deal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie’s lips pursed. She looked like she wanted to egg him on, but refrained, and Dean was grateful for that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to tell me now. But I appreciate you opening up about it- all of it.” she said, wetting the towel again in the sink. “By the way, are you feeling better?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Much better,” he muttered, sitting up and rubbing his moist forehead, damp from the towel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I think you should take the day off. I mean. Only if you want to.” Charlie shrugged, checking her phone. “It’s almost time for me to go to work. You can hang around here, if you want.” She grabbed her canvas bag off the chair where it was hanging and slung it around her shoulders while stepping into her sneakers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cool. Do you have anything to watch?” Dean asked, stepping lightly over to her TV and DVDs laying around it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, don’t look at those!” Charlie scrambled to snatch the DVDs away from his hands, practically hissing at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude, what are those?” Dean joked, giggling a little at her possessiveness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have to tell you,” she said coolly, stuffing the discs into her bag. “It’s none of your business. And I have cable, so you can watch that. Don’t break anything, okay? I’ll tell Gabe that you’re not coming in today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean shifted uncomfortably. Gabe probably knew that already.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you go ahead and do that. And don’t worry, I won’t break your bowls.” he gestured to the trash can where the shattered pieces of bowl resided. Charlie huffed and, to Dean’s surprise, wrapped her skinny arms around him tightly and squeezed his torso.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take care of yourself, okay? I don’t want you going anywhere.” she murmured. Dean stroked her fiery red hair affectionately and smiled down at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, little sister, I’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You better be here when I get back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will be, I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <span>“Okay. Bye, Dean.” she said, grabbing her giant coat and slipping it on before closing the door behind her with a gentle </span>
  <em>
    <span>click</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ill be back soon chiles just u wait</p><p>that was not a hamilton reference</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. shined brighter in Tupelo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i am back with a charlie and gabriel chapter! tbh they are so fun to write about so i had loads of motivation to finish </p><p>sorry for the wait, and please enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Charlie did not go straight to work. Instead, she closed and locked the door behind her, walked down the hallway, took a left, then a right, and found Gabriel’s apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Drawing in a deep breath, she rapped her knuckles against the door three times. She knew Gabe was still in there, because it was barely nine o’clock, and even though Gabe owned the joint he liked to show up fashionably late.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Coming,” said a muffled voice from the other side of the door that definitely did not belong to Gabe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A one-night stand?</span>
  </em>
  <span> She found herself wondering. Gabe certainly seemed the type.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door slid open to reveal a black-haired, blue-eyed man with a tired expression that Charlie remembered, but just couldn’t put her finger on at first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit!” she exclaimed after a few moments of awkward staring, “You’re that musty guy!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me, what?” the man asked, clearly confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never mind, I don’t care why you’re here. Actually-” Charlie stopped as she remembered that the musty guy was also her best friend Dean’s crush. “I do care why you’re here!” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh God, I hope he’s not hooking up with Gabe. That would break Dean’s heart.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “You’re not, like. Hooking up with Gabe or anything, are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No!” the man said, his face contorted into an offended shape. “No, I’m his brother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ohhhhhhh. Sorry, dude.” Charlie said, pressing her teeth together and sucking in a breath. That was embarrassing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Brush it off, Charlie. Tell him you need to see Gabe.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, uh, need to see Gabe real quick.” she muttered, looking down at her feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s busy right now,” Gabe’s brother said coldly, looking to shut the door on her before a look of recognition crossed his face. “Wait, you work at Sweet Dreams, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie’s head snapped up. “Yup, I sure do. I actually need to talk to him about an employee.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man’s face squeezed for a second before he released it. “You’re Charlie, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The one and only!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um. Sure, I’ll go get Gabriel.” the man said awkwardly, his face flushing before he closed the door in her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie shuffled her feet around and looked down at her shoes. She probably needed to get a new pair- they were starting to squeeze her toes. Though, at the age of almost twenty-seven, she assumed her feet had stopped growing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel opened the door moments later. “Hey, Charlie! Come on in, Cas just made breakfast.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, sure?” Charlie said with uncertainty. It wasn’t like she was uncomfortable with Gabriel- she had known the guy for almost ten years- she had just never been in his apartment, even though they lived in the same building.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what brings you here?” Gabe asked, shutting the door behind Charlie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted to let you know that Dean isn’t coming in today,” she said, and then dropped her voice to a whisper. “Though, I’m guessing you probably already know that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabe’s nonchalant smile slid off his face and he nodded. “How’d you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was in the building and ended up in front of my door by coincidence. He wouldn’t even be in the building, unless he was visiting you. Or your brother.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Was he visiting your brother?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who, Cas? No, he was-” Gabe started, but a small girl with curly blond hair interrupted them by pulling on Gabe’s sleeve.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uncle Gabe, Dad says breakfast is ready.” she said, casting a glance towards Charlie. Charlie gave her a shy smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay, Clairey-Bear. I’ll be there in a minute,” he said, the smile returning to his face as he gave the girl a noogie. She giggled and raced back into the kitchen. “Sorry, what was I saying?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why was Dean here?” Charlie asked again, playing with the strap of her canvas bag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He had an incident,” Gabe said airily, pursing his lips as if he wanted to say something else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was hungover and sobbing his eyes out last night when I found him outside my door.” Charlie said. “And then he told me about his past and everything. I’m assuming he had a little too much to drink, cussed at you or your brother- Cas, right?- and ran out in a dramatic huff.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Basically, yeah,” Gabe admitted sheepishly. “He’s okay, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s fine. Except he had this horrible panic attack last night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh God. Is he okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s fine now. I didn’t know how to cure a hangover, since I don’t drink, so I just gave him some moist towels to put on his forehead. I think it worked, since he didn’t say anything about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not how you remedy a hangover, Charlie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” she said, waving him off, “He’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabe sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Normally, Gabe didn’t look old- he was surprisingly good-looking for his age- but in that moment, he looked like he aged a hundred years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, as long as he’s safe.” he glanced over his shoulder. Cas waved a spatula towards the stack of pancakes that he had just made. “You want breakfast?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would never pass up pancakes, stupid, of course I want breakfast.” Charlie said, nudging Gabe with her elbow and walking over to the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Castiel, Gabriel’s brother.” Cas said as she sat down, extending a hand towards her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Charlie,” she said, shaking his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How many pancakes would you like, Charlie?” Cas asked, sliding a few onto a little boy’s plate, who Charlie didn’t even notice was sitting next to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just like, two, maybe.” Cas plopped two fresh pancakes onto her plate and drizzled it with syrup. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Charlie bit into her breakfast, she studied Cas closely. He didn’t actually look that musty up close. His blue eyes glimmered in the early morning sun, and his messy black hair actually looked really nice all mussed up like that. She could clearly see why Dean would like him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie knew Gabe had lots of siblings- three brothers and two sisters, if he could recall- but he never talked about them, which made her wonder if he had a good relationship with them. Charlie never had any siblings, and she wished she did most of the time. It would’ve made her childhood much more interesting, especially since her mother was in the hospital for most of it and Charlie had to take care of herself all the time. She liked having Dean around, since he called her “little sister” occasionally, which made him more like a brother to her instead of just a close friend. In fact, Charlie would even go as far as to say that Dean was her best friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kids giggled and laughed at the table, telling dumb jokes that only a child would find funny. Charlie did her part and fake-laughed to amuse them. She learned their names were Claire and Jack. Jack looked startlingly like his father, and when she told Cas that, his entire face lit up with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wondered where their mother was, but didn’t ask. It was probably a personal thing, anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabe and Charlie left for work, saying their final goodbyes to the kids, who had taken a liking to the redhead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Gabe shut the door behind him and locked it, he noticed Charlie was smiling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They really like you, you know,” Gabe noted, pulling the key out of the lock and shoving it into his pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can tell, stupid,” she joked, giving his shoulder a little punch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That all you got, carrot top?” Gabriel joked back, punching her shoulder a little harder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ow!” she said, giggling, “ And I don’t get why people call redhead carrot tops. I mean, the top of a carrot is green, right? Like the leaves?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabe paused to ponder on that for a moment. “Huh, I guess. Better call you carrot bottom, then.” he said with a cheeky grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, that just sounds wrong.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabe wrinkled his nose. “Charlie, is that </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> where your mind goes first?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie wrinkled her nose right back at him. “You made me this way, you dirty-minded freak of nature.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pouted his lower lip. “That hurt my feewings!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, shut up, you old sap.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-------------------------</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Gabe brushed a hand through his hair as the last customer approached the register.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will that be all today, ma’am?” he asked as the curly-haired woman approached the counter with her face pointed towards the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Gabriel,” the woman said in a husky, snooty voice, looking up and fixing him with her striking blue eyes- eyes that looked eerily familiar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daphne,” he whispered softly. Why was Daphne here? Last he heard from Cas, she was living it up in the Bahamas with her new husband, Alastair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daphne let out a dramatic sigh. “Yes, Gabriel, it is me. Would you mind telling me where Castiel is?”</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeez, you’ve changed a lot. What’s up with the posh-talk?” he said, ignoring her question. “Seriously, you sound like a British monarch in the 1700’s or something."
</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> ask again, Gabriel,” she hissed, practically spitting out his name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Say it, don’t spray it, sister.” he rolled his eyes at her as nonchalantly as possible. “And I have no idea where he is.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daphne pursed her lips and stuck her hip out. “You’re lying, Gabriel, I can tell.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said breezily. “Now, are you done, or not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daphne sighed and withdrew a pair of sunglasses from her expensive-looking purse, which was resting on the crook of her elbow. “You know, the weather here is horrible compared to the places Alastair has taken me. Alastair is my new husband, of course, thousands of times better than Cas ever was to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel steeled his jaw. That was bullshit. Alastair substituted money for love, and Daphne ate it up on a silver platter. Cas truly loved Daphne, and was heartbroken when they divorced. Gabe could still remember the days where he would cry to him over the phone about her, and he would just sit and listen the best he could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure he is. Now can you please go?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daphne huffed. “It’s quite rude, throwing a lady out, you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, guess what,” he snarled, his temper starting to shine through, “I don’t fucking care. Get out, </span>
  <em>
    <span>now.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daphne turned on her heel and left without another word while Charlie approached the counter, casting her a weird stare as she slammed the jingling door behind her. “Who’s that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cas’s asshole ex,” Gabe sighed, opening the cash register and beginning to count the bills inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sheesh. She’s got her panties in a twist,” Charlie noted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad they’re divorced. In fact, I was the only person who objected to their marriage in the first place.” Gabe replied, sorting the twenties and the tens into two separate piles. “Cas didn’t talk to me a while after that, not until Claire was born.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad, too.” Charlie sighed, and looked around the mostly empty shop before leaning in. “D’you think that Dean and Cas would be, you know. A good couple?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The question startled Gabe, and before he could say “yes”, his mind flashed back to last night. How Dean had been so rude to him and Cas, how Cas had been so angry at Dean. Sure, they would be a good couple- a power couple, even- but they would probably break up if they ever had fights like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sort of,” he said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sort of? I think they’re perfect for each other.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, the only reason I say ‘sort of” is because of last night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you mean when Dean cussed out Cas or something? You still haven’t told me what happened.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a long story, but yeah, they’re not on good terms right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yikes.” Charlie paused and pursed her lips like Daphne had done just minutes before. “I hope they make up soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabe looked off behind her, at the shelves and shelves of candy. He noticed two rock candies placed next to each other- one green, one blue- and was confused, since they were supposed to be with their separate color groups.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope so too.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>please give me kudos i require validation </p><p>jk jk</p><p>unless you want to give me kudos 👀🤺</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. and if you're ever tired of being known</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>please accept this chapter as an apology for me updating on the most wack schedule ever :) also i had so much motivation to finish this one and monkey brain said "just UPLOAD IT YOU WENCH" so i did lol</p><p>please enjoy, this one made me cry (and im the one who wrote it LMFAOOO)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cas decided to stay home that week, annoyed by the lack of job interviews. However, staying home meant that his children would be with him the whole day, something he wasn’t against because he loved his kids, but it was exhausting at times.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daaaaaad!” he heard Claire shout from her room while Jack gleefully ran around the apartment without underwear. “I need help with my homework!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas sighed and rubbed his temples. He had been enjoying a nice cup of tea while reading a young adult book titled </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shadow and Bone </span>
  </em>
  <span>that Charlie had recommended to him that morning. “It’s really good,” she had said while stuffing pancakes into her mouth, “It’s also got a great representation of LGBT+ characters.” That was all she needed to say for Cas to go out and buy it. He was heartily enjoying it so far- that was, until Claire interrupted his semi-peaceful reading haze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Coming, Claire!” he said, placing down the book. He crossed the hallway to help Claire when he heard the door unlock. “Hold that thought,” he said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel burst through the door, toting several paper bags. “I’ve got candy, kiddos!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“CANDY!” Claire and Jack screeched in unison, both forgetting their previous activities and dashing to get candy from Gabriel. Gabriel laughed, his twinkling, charming laughter filling the air, and Cas smiled. In that moment, he felt so appreciative of his brother, and everything he had done for him and his family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scratch that- Gabriel was his family. Always had been, and always would be. He didn’t know why he didn’t acknowledge this before, but he realized it now, and his face filled with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Gabriel,” he said, taking the bags from his older brother and bringing them over to the kitchen. “Don’t eat too much candy, Jack,” he said, gently removing a large spiral sucker from Jack’s grubby hands, “You’ll spoil your appetite.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But Dad!” Jack whined.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, ah, ah, don’t argue with big ol’ Papa Bear here,” Gabriel tutted, patting Jack on the head, “He’s right, you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know,” Jack pouted, crossing his arms and looking surprisingly like Claire for a moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Cas said to Gabriel, “For. You know. Everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, the candy? Anytime, little brother, anytime! I own a candy shop, y’know-” Gabriel was cut off by a hug from Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean for taking us in, treating the kids like your own, everything, </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It takes a really caring person to do that. I’m glad,” Cas said into his big brother’s shoulder, “I’m glad I have a brother like you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, shit, Cas, you’re taking me by surprise here,” Gabriel said softly, awkwardly returning embrace. They hadn’t quite mastered the perfect brotherly hug yet. “But like I said. Anytime.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas let go first and cleared his throat. “We should go get dinner. On me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, like, go out to eat?” Gabriel shrugged. “I know a pizza place up the street from the shop.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ooh, pizza?” Claire inquired, sticking her head out of her room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Clairey-Bear, pizza!” he laughed, running over and scooping her up by the armpits. “I’m guessing you want toenail-flavored sauce and fish pepperoni, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ewwww, no!” she giggled. “Maybe Jack would want that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, he’d probably want a broccoli crust or something gross like that. Maybe booger-flavored sauce.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gross, Uncle Gabe!” Claire doubled over in Gabriel’s arms, howling with laughter. Cas grinned. He hadn’t seen his own daughter laugh like that in years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It suddenly hit him that, in their previous living circumstances, Claire had had to grow up faster than any child should. She should’ve had a childhood with her mother and father, going on vacations to the beach, falling asleep sandwiched between them, getting tickled and crying with laughter. Instead she got a father who could barely take care of them, a distant, emotionally unavailable mother, and a little brother who was constantly left in her care, intentional or not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It reminded him of Dean’s story, and his heart twisted into knots. After hearing Dean’s story, he would never want another child to go through that, but he had unknowingly put his daughter through it already.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He swore right there that he’d be there for his kids more than Daphne ever had been. He had taken that oath after Daphne divorced him and left him for the last time, but now he was solidifying it. He promised he would never make Claire be a makeshift mom for Jack, like Dean had been a makeshift father for Sam.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cas? Cassie, you there? Lil’ bro?” Cas suddenly came back to reality when Gabriel snapped his fingers in front of his face, still holding Claire in his other arm. “You good?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas shook his head. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just got lost in thought.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel looked at him funny, but didn’t say a word. “Okay, well, we’re leaving in a few minutes. You sure you wanna pay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Gabriel, it’s the least I owe you, after everything.” Cas gestured to the grand living room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sheesh, okay.” Gabriel said with fake annoyance, putting Claire on the ground. “Go get your shoes on, and please, Jack, put on some pants.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right before the whole family was ready to leave, a knock rapped on the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get it,” Gabriel offered, slipping on his other shoe and opening the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A tall man stood outside, dark circles hanging underneath his eyes, not unlike Cas’s. He reeked of second hand smoke and alcohol, and wore a ratty leather jacket over a pair of worn jeans. He wore an angry expression that was poorly masked with concern, and he breathed heavily, as if he had just ran a marathon. His messy brown hair covered a portion of his face, but Cas could clearly see a murky green eye muddled with drink staring right through him. The sight of him was chilling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas could sense that this man was dangerous, and grabbed Claire and Jack. “Go into your rooms until I say you can come out,” he muttered to them, and with one glance towards the man at the door they retreated into their rooms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” the man said in a gruff voice, gravelly from years of smoking, “I was told that Dean Winchester would be here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, man, he doesn’t live here,” Gabriel said carefully, lightly, as if he was stepping on eggshells. “He doesn’t even live in the complex.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Well, d’you know where he lives?” the man asked, shoving his hands into his pockets. It was a rather awkward position for a guy as big as him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, sir, I don’t.” Gabriel replied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see. Well, have a good day, then,” the guy muttered, before abruptly turning and walking down the hallway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, man, you too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel closed the door and faced Cas with a confused look. “Do you know that guy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’ve never seen him before,” Cas answered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daddy, is the big man gone?” A small voice whimpered from behind one of the locked doors.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. You can come out now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jack and Claire emerged from their rooms cautiously before wrapping themselves around Cas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That man was weird,” Claire commented, “And scary.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Less scary than Dean,” Jack added. Cas gulped, thinking about the green-eyed man. He wondered how he was doing, as he had seemed to be in a panic when he left the previous night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Damn it,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Cas cursed. He hadn’t thought about him all day- why, </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> couldn’t he just have </span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span> day where he didn’t think about Dean?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daddy, you look weird. Are you okay?” Jack asked, cocking his head upwards.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, kiddo, you look a little warm,” Gabriel agreed, and stepped forward to press a hand against Cas’s scrubby face, which he still hadn’t shaved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-I’m fine,” Cas stuttered, swatting his brother’s hand away, “Let’s just go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie’s place was nice, but got boring after a while. Dean avoided scrolling through his phone, in fear of seeing something that he wanted to forget.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In her haste, Charlie had left a bunch of DVDs scattered across the floor instead of putting them back neatly, like they had been previously. Dean picked through them until he found a movie he wanted to watch- </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Wizard of Oz.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had once called it a depressing movie, a film for people who desperately wanted to hold onto the last shred of childhood happiness they had left. He avoided the movie before, but now, he wanted to feel that happiness again. He had only had it for a little while, before he was forced to grow up. He wanted to feel the joy coursing through his veins, like he had before, but he didn’t want to remember all the things that came after.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, as he booted up the movie and settled down on the couch to watch it, he shoved all those memories to the back of his mind. No, Dean Winchester would not be weak and have yet another panic attack. God, he just wanted to feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy </span>
  </em>
  <span>again. Was that so much to ask for?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He skipped through the opening credits and landed right at the beginning of Dorothy’s song, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. As he watched her sing, her puffy blue skirt billowing around her and her dumb little dog slung in a basket around her elbow, he felt pity for her. He knew what it was like to wish, hope, pray you were somewhere else, and finally come to the conclusion that there was no escape. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean felt a weird wetness on his face, and realized he was crying. Fuck, why was he crying? It was just a stupid song.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that song meant too much to him. His mom sang that song to him once. It was the only clear memory he had of her. Mary Winchester, sitting on his bed, smiling that white-toothed smile he missed so dearly. Softly whispering the song to him as he drifted of to sleep, her stroking his hair, him feeling at peace and sleepy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Somewhere over the rainbow,” he muttered, pretending that he was three years old again, having his mother singing to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Way up high,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Judy Garland sang right back to him, and for a second, it sounded so much like his mom he jolted upright and nearly cried out for her right there. </span>
  <em>
    <span>There’s a land that I dreamed of, once in a lullaby…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Somewhere over the rainbow,” Dean croaked out again, more of a sob than song.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Skies are blue,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Dorothy sung back, her melodious voice carrying over the empty house. Dean held back tears and sniffled violently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true.” he whispered back, partially a melody, partially a broken hiccup. He wanted his mom, wanted her </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But she was gone, blown away. It was pointless to hope.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So why did he still hope? Why did he cling to that dream that his mom was still alive, still there to tuck him in at night, sing him lullabies that he couldn’t remember the words to?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Someday I’ll wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s where-</span>
  </em>
  <span> “You’ll find-” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<span>Before Dorothy could say her famous line yet again, he turned off the movie and buried his face in a pillow, willing himself to go back to sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THE NICE COMMENTS I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE MY READERS THANKS FOR READING MY BRAIN ROT FIC ILY ALL THANKS FOR READING AND LEAVING KUDOS &lt;3333333333333333 fr y'all are the best and give me motivation to write and ugh i love the internet so much</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. for who you know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so dean went missing :)</p><p>please enjoy! (short chapter because boy is the next chapter going to be L O N G)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rumors had been flying around the apartment complex that there was a greasy, smoky-smelling man walking around, banging on doors and asking for a “Dean Winchester”. When Gabriel first heard about this, he thought about the tall guy who had asked for Dean just a few days ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He asked Charlie about it, since she lived in the same building as he did, but she shook her head. “No, and I’m glad he didn’t. He sounds terrifying, and it would’ve been awkward, especially since Dean was actually in my apartment when he was supposedly walking around.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gabriel didn’t like to think about what would’ve happened if Dean had been found by the guy. He and Charlie- and many other residents in the apartment- agreed to not tell him where Dean was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The guy stopped coming around after the staff received a few complaints about him, and he didn’t return. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie was happy to see that Dean was still in her apartment when she got home, in all his puffy-eyed glory, and allowed him to leave after a quick dinner. That had been almost four weeks ago, and now she was worried about him again. She hadn’t heard from him that entire time, and hadn’t even seen his car, which she had christened “The Boomer”. It annoyed Dean greatly, and made her giggle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>Charlie asked both Jo and Gabriel, but neither of them had seen or heard from him. She was starting to panic. Where was he? Was he okay?</span> <span>Gabriel assured her that she was being too protective of him, but </span><em><span>he</span></em><span> didn’t know how it tore at her heart to see her big brother-figure sobbing into her shirt, babbling about rejection and loss. He didn’t know how much it hurt her to see Dean in pain.</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie tried not to think about him too much, but when your best friend goes missing, how can you not worry about him 24/7? She wondered if it had something to do with the mysterious man asking for him, and prayed that it didn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One day, almost a week and a half after Dean went missing, Cas came into the store with his two children, who were ecstatic to be in Gabriel’s candy store. He walked up to her and ordered a coffee before noticing the bags under her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Charlie, have you been sleeping well recently?” he asked with concern. Charlie and Cas had become close in a very short amount of time, since Charlie found that he was very easy to talk to. Not as pop-culture savvy as Dean, but still understood at least half of her obscure references. “I meant to come here to tell you about the book you recommended, but obviously something is bothering you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Charlie was about to tell him that nothing was wrong, but she didn’t want to pull a Dean and bottle up all her fears. “I’m worried about Dean,” she muttered, pouring coffee grinds into the espresso machine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas’s face steeled. “What about Dean is worrying you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, he hasn’t been around in weeks, and there’s this weird-ass guy looking for him or something. I haven’t heard from him or even seen his car. It’s freaking me out.” her voice caught on the last word. Cas’s face softened, and he stretched a hand across the counter to hold hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean and I aren’t on the best terms right now,” he started, and Charlie raised an eyebrow at that. “I’ll clarify later. But I’m sure he’s fine. He’s- well, I wouldn’t say </span>
  <em>
    <span>responsible</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he can take care of himself well enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Cas,” Charlie sighed, “But I’m still nervous.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you tried calling him?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, lots of times. He hasn’t picked up once.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That is concerning,” Cas said blandly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You think, Mr. Dry?” Charlie scoffed, feeling annoyed. Why didn’t Cas understand?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cas held his hands up in defense. “Sorry. Can we stop talking about Dean now? I came here to discuss this book with you.” He tossed </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shadow and Bone</span>
  </em>
  <span> on the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you finished it?” Charlie asked, gleefully excited to discuss her favorite book. “Who’s your favorite character?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really like Kaz and Inej, personally,” Cas said eagerly, “I really love their relationship, platonic or not. It’s very-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was cut off by Jo, who appeared out of seemingly nowhere. “Is that Dean’s car?” she asked, pointing to a very familiar black 1967 Chevy Impala parking outside the shop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, it is!” Charlie squealed, book forgotten. “Sorry Cas, I’ll be right back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She ran outside just as Dean exited the car, looking happier than he had been in months. Charlie pounced and flung her arms and legs around him, forcing Dean to lift her off the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oomf, Charlie!” he laughed, a real laugh, something Charlie hadn’t heard in a long time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dean! Where the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> where you? You worried me sick! Don’t just run off like that!” Charlie growled, slightly annoyed. Dean put her back on the ground and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry for worrying you, shorty,” he laughed, giving Charlie a noogie. She noticed that he ignored her question, but she didn’t press it. After all, he had been gone for almost three weeks. She had missed him, more than anything, which probably wasn’t a good thing since it had only been three weeks. But hey, she was always stuck to him like glue, and not having him around was like trying to get 300-year-old dried paste off of a piece of paper without ripping it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jo came out shortly after, with Gabriel on her heels. Gabriel threw his hands up, like Cas had minutes before. “Dude! Where were you? You can’t just leave like that!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dean looked confused. “I texted you, I thought. Told you I was going to be gone for a while?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t get it,” Gabriel huffed, but hugged Dean anyways. “It’s good to see you again. You owe me a very thorough explanation, though!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You stupid bitch, don’t just run off like that!” Jo said jokingly, mimicking what Charlie had said. “C’mere!” She gave him a bear hug and a slap on the ass, making Dean squeak and blush.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have a lot to tell us! Where did you go? What happened?” Charlie asked, eager to get back on the topic of what happened. They walked through the doors of the shop. Dean froze when he saw Cas sitting at the counter, but he brushed it off quickly and grinned at Charlie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a long story…”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>COMMENTS GIVE ME SEROTONIN DON'T YOU WANT YOUR AUTHOR TO EXPERIENCE THAT GODDAMN HAPPY CHEMICAL?????? jk but thanks to everyone who left a kind comment they make my day :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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